The process which seems like it will never end.
Especially when you don't know an end date.
What you do know is how long you've been waiting. You count the minutes, hours, and days, or if it comes to it, the months and the years.
11 months and 17 days
It's too long. How much more can I bear, Lord? I ask Him because I know He's in control.
I rant and rave about how unfair it is that people can take so long to decide things and that I don't care what the outcome is, I just want to know. Hmm, it doesn't sound like God is in control.
I want to plan and figure things out, but all I can see is dark right now. I don't know what the plan is, and I need to know. Really? Do I really need to know?
Because if I really needed to know, it would seem that the God who is in control would let me know. So I must not need to know. At least not yet.
Why isn't He telling me? What am I doing wrong? Doesn't He hear my cry?
One of my favorite things to say is:
It's not about the end, it's about the journey.
God isn't so much concerned with the end so much as the journey we are on. Are we learning what He has for us? I'm sure it's not always because of sin that we have to wait, but because He's teaching us something or even someone else something.
For me this time, it's about patience - that process of enduring under stress. Like gold in a refiner's fire. The process is what makes the end beautiful.
Job is a picture of someone who is righteous learning patience. I'm sure there were days when he wanted his journey to be over. He didn't have an end date.
I want the end to come quickly. I want to know the answer to the decision that is being made, so I can figure out how it all works.
He says to me, "My grace is sufficient for you. I am not finished yet. You need to continue on this journey a little while longer."
I can't wait. I want to be gold now, but that's not how the process works.
Let me say with Job, "When He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold."
Walking the journey He has for me,