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Thursday, January 31, 2013

When the frustration comes

Yesterday I had an opportunity to help my husband.  Our car was stuck and he was going to pull it out with the truck.  Heading into it I knew there would be frustration and trouble.  I did not want to go. 

This past winter we've had a few experiences of being stuck.  Each and every time it turns out the same.  I think I know what he's meaning when he tells me which way to turn, but I don't and then, I'm stuck in a new place. 

I see him waving his arms to go a certain way and so I head that way and realize that I misread his waving instructions.  There have been times he's gotten out of the truck and come over to tell me the plan.  I think I understand, but no, when I'm done I'm far from where he needed me to be.

One of these times we're gonna get there, or I'll just give up and hand it over to my almost-driving boy who thinks like his dad and will probably intuitively know what to do.

I know this is a way that our marriage can grow, but when I was getting ready to go yesterday, I was dreading it.  Dreading the sinking feeling that would be in the pit of my stomach when I didn't actually help my husband, but made things worse.

We, as wives, aren't supposed to do that.  We are the helper.  But in this case, it wasn't a matter of sin, it was a matter of a brain that doesn't function in cases of slippery roads and under pressure.  I can't think straight, especially when I know I'm probably going to do it wrong.

I was thinking about this in terms of our communication with God.  Do you ever feel like He's waving His arms telling you to go a certain way and you go that way tentatively because you aren't really sure if that's what He's telling you?  There are two windshields between you and God and so you think you know what He's saying, but you're not sure. 

I feel like that a lot.  But you know, God's instructions are clearly spelled out for us.  Sometimes we make His will very blurry for ourselves.  He has given us freedom and yet we sit waiting, "What if we do the wrong thing?" 

As parents, we shouldn't have a specific goal in mind for our children's future.  We could cause a lot of problems if we decide at two, that Missy should be a doctor.  We don't pick for them the person to marry and yet, somehow, we think God does that to us.

Could it be that He just wants us to go with the guidelines He's set up in His word and then we get to pick?  He doesn't just have one person out there.  I went to mission's training when I was still single.  Anyone of those men were godly and specifically the ones that I clicked with as friends could have been options for marriage. 

I'm not saying God didn't have a hand in bringing Carpenter into my life and that He didn't orchestrate some parts of it - kind of like a parent setting up his child with someone who has a potential to be a good spouse for him.

But we sometimes get worried we'll be sinning if we don't get it right.  God's not hiding himself from us. We must believe that.  He has given us all we need.  I think it's our misconstrued ideas about God that mess us up.

So let's get into His Word and ask Him to change those things, and stop living in fear of doing the wrong thing and just get out and DO! 

Making the most of today

Day 31 - through Leviticus 3 and Psalm 6 and I'm working on Romans 1:11-12

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