We as moms, have an abundance of things that we need to keep track of. We need to make sure not only that we are dressed and ready for the day, but that each little person that we are given charge of, is also ready for the day.
We must take care of hygeine needs, not only of ourselves but also of our young ones.
We must feed ourselves and the family God has given us.
Even in exercising, we need to make sure that our children have an outlet for the energy that is unceasing.
And rest, we must make sure that we all get the rest that we need, and knowing who has what needs in this regard is somewhat difficult.
We also have what seems like a bazillion other things to do.
Lately, I've been messing around with some games on the computer while I wait for my boys to finish their tests. I really have other things I could do nearby and still monitor them. But sometimes I take a break.
One of the games that I play is a farm game - no it's not FarmVille. But you're required to harvest certain things and get enough to pass the section. Well sometimes I find all kinds of things to harvest and then the game is over and I'm out of moves and I realize that I was harvesting all the wrong things.
Say the goal is to get 20 onions, 30 suns and 40 rain drops. I was harvesting carrots and apples. Oops. I need to have my goals in front of me and that is why I succeed so much better when there is a list near me of the things I need to do.
When the list is next to my computer, I usually allow myself to do one fun thing - like reading a blog or playing a game and then I go and tackle one thing on my list. It works pretty well for me. I get to the end of my day - not with computer overload - but with a neat house, laundry done and supper ready.
Not every day works out well, even with my priorities straight. But I don't do what the sign says when I've failed the game - I don't give up. I will try again and continue asking God to mold and shape me.
Making the most of today
Steph
Showing posts with label Thursday's Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thursday's Thoughts. Show all posts
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Thursday's Thoughts - (now it's really Thursday)
Yesterday, I shared something that thrilled me about raising my boys. I've seen a lot of growth in their lives over the past year and a half, while I've been babysitting. I think it has taught them to be helpful and caring. But this doesn't happen so much with their siblings.
We still have a long way to go. Most days, I just deal with things as they come up. There is no plan to work on certain things - no goals, except the ultimate one - reaching adulthood.
So I propose that we should tell our children which areas we should be working on and give them ideas of how to do that. We are training after all. In training, for a run (this is mostly assumption on my part, having never done this), I'm sure that the trainer doesn't say "Go. Run." I'm sure there are warm-up and cool-down exercises. "Watch out for this or that." etc.
In the same way, when we have a child working on an issue - anger, disobedience, lying - they need help. When you feel like this, watch out! Help them see the warning signs and triggers.
Work together with them and then you will be on the same team. Sharpie knows that we're trying to help him branch out and be less of an introvert. Carpenter asked him why he didn't want to do a certain part of ushering. He said, it makes him nervous. So Carpenter was able to share with Sharpie how he felt as a young man and what he'd learned - that when he's thinking about himself, he's nervous and when he's thinking about others, he's not.
Especially this summer, there is a lot of time to work on stuff. Give a project. Have them write a report or give a presentation on a certain struggles. Help them evaluate why they aren't doing what they should.
Making the most of today,
Steph
We still have a long way to go. Most days, I just deal with things as they come up. There is no plan to work on certain things - no goals, except the ultimate one - reaching adulthood.
So I propose that we should tell our children which areas we should be working on and give them ideas of how to do that. We are training after all. In training, for a run (this is mostly assumption on my part, having never done this), I'm sure that the trainer doesn't say "Go. Run." I'm sure there are warm-up and cool-down exercises. "Watch out for this or that." etc.
In the same way, when we have a child working on an issue - anger, disobedience, lying - they need help. When you feel like this, watch out! Help them see the warning signs and triggers.
Work together with them and then you will be on the same team. Sharpie knows that we're trying to help him branch out and be less of an introvert. Carpenter asked him why he didn't want to do a certain part of ushering. He said, it makes him nervous. So Carpenter was able to share with Sharpie how he felt as a young man and what he'd learned - that when he's thinking about himself, he's nervous and when he's thinking about others, he's not.
Especially this summer, there is a lot of time to work on stuff. Give a project. Have them write a report or give a presentation on a certain struggles. Help them evaluate why they aren't doing what they should.
Making the most of today,
Steph
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Thursday's Thoughts - They need us
This thought has been helpful to me. Sometimes I get frustrated when my children do things that I wish they wouldn't or need more of me than I would like. They need me because they are still growing up. And not that when they are grown up they will be perfect. They won't. I'm not either.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Thursday's Thoughts - striving or growing
Romans 12:2 - And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.Ever since I was little I have desired to have a close walk with God and I've wanted Him to change my life. When I do something wrong, like yell at my kids or gossip about someone or whatever, I usually resolve to change and do better next time.
Something that I've been finding, though, as I memorize Scripture is that as I spend time pouring God's Word into my heart, I start to get it - to understand what God wants me to know. It doesn't take striving but continuing to study His Word. I find that alot easier than pulling myself up by the "bootstraps".
I have nothing in me that gives me the strength and ability to do the things that God wants me to do, but as I fill my heart and mind with His truths, I find I already have the strength and there is no "striving" about it.
What a joy to serve Him!
When I was younger in the dorm, I had one dorm mom who had five kids of her own at the time - and one was deaf. Every spare minute I saw her sitting in the living room with her Bible. I will never forget her wonderful example.
The only way we can know what God wants us to know is through His Word and therein lies everything we need to know about life and godliness (II Peter 1:3)
Making the most of today
Steph
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Thursday's Thoughts - vigilance
As I look outside, the yard looks like someone sifted powdered sugar over it. The trees hang heavy with the ice that came yesterday. It's so beautiful. The most beautiful thing is that none of it was on the roads - they were dry as I took my children to school.
But it's mid-April and I'm ready for spring. Ready to plant onions and lettuce and spinach, but I will wait and paint a few more rocks for placing out in the garden.
I shared about the vigilance needed with a garden. I need it desperately with my children. Having seven, and three or four extras at times, means I should be vigilant and on the alert more, but I'm afraid that's not what happens.
Generally, I go to my computer and escape. I do all kinds of good things, organize this and work on that. But I don't want to be bound by the kids, so usually I ask one of the older kids to take care of getting the milk for another or whatever is needed at the time.
I am aware of what is going on mostly, but sometimes not. One of the little ones found a stamp that shouldn't have been in her play area. Her tongue and hands are coated with pink now, because I didn't catch it soon enough.
I'm not saying that I will catch everything. But it's my job to really pay attention, to be the mom or babysitter that they need. It's the task that God has given to me. On Time-warp Wife's website I found a little sheet that is a helpful reminder to me. It's in the front of all my binders. Quote from Elisabeth Elliot
As you know, my blog is about things that I'm still working on - and this is one of those things. I don't want to put everything I have into my day or I may not be able to stand up in the evening. If I relax my way through the day, then I won't get burnt-out. These fears have never or hardly ever become a reality.
So I need to give everything my best shot - take breaks when I need to and then do what God has for me. And part of that is restricting myself to the kitchen table so that I can make sure that certain boys of mine get an education and finish the school year well. And it's also about teaching them to learn to do the things on their own without me standing over them.
Each one is different and I've heard it said that I need to be a student of my children. To learn who they are and they ways they learn best, so that I can train them in the best way.
This is what I'm working on today.
Steph
But it's mid-April and I'm ready for spring. Ready to plant onions and lettuce and spinach, but I will wait and paint a few more rocks for placing out in the garden.
I shared about the vigilance needed with a garden. I need it desperately with my children. Having seven, and three or four extras at times, means I should be vigilant and on the alert more, but I'm afraid that's not what happens.
Generally, I go to my computer and escape. I do all kinds of good things, organize this and work on that. But I don't want to be bound by the kids, so usually I ask one of the older kids to take care of getting the milk for another or whatever is needed at the time.
I am aware of what is going on mostly, but sometimes not. One of the little ones found a stamp that shouldn't have been in her play area. Her tongue and hands are coated with pink now, because I didn't catch it soon enough.
I'm not saying that I will catch everything. But it's my job to really pay attention, to be the mom or babysitter that they need. It's the task that God has given to me. On Time-warp Wife's website I found a little sheet that is a helpful reminder to me. It's in the front of all my binders. Quote from Elisabeth Elliot
As you know, my blog is about things that I'm still working on - and this is one of those things. I don't want to put everything I have into my day or I may not be able to stand up in the evening. If I relax my way through the day, then I won't get burnt-out. These fears have never or hardly ever become a reality.
So I need to give everything my best shot - take breaks when I need to and then do what God has for me. And part of that is restricting myself to the kitchen table so that I can make sure that certain boys of mine get an education and finish the school year well. And it's also about teaching them to learn to do the things on their own without me standing over them.
Each one is different and I've heard it said that I need to be a student of my children. To learn who they are and they ways they learn best, so that I can train them in the best way.
This is what I'm working on today.
Steph
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Thursday's Thoughts - Marilla or Mrs Brady
By the title I'm pretty sure you can tell what's been on in our house lately. For awhile, we were watching a lot of the Brady Bunch. The kids loved it, and well, so did their dad and I. I pulled out our Anne of Green Gables movies that my in-laws brought last time.
Everyone groaned, including Carpenter, but I knew if they would just watch a bit that they would get sucked in and enjoy it. So we put the first tape in. I thought the comments from the older boys were hilarious. One in particular has hardly left my mind. "She talks all the time - that's why we don't like watching this movie."
Oho! So you have competition. After that comment, I noticed that between the three of them someone has to be talking at all times. Sometimes two and sometimes all three. A very revealing statement. Just makes me smile and say "Go outside and play."
But back to the title. I love Mrs. Brady - she's so nice - always willing to listen to her kids and their struggles with life. Never exploding because they did something really annoying this time. Just calm, cool and collected. Always showing love and tenderness. I want to be like her.
As I watched Anne of Green Gables, I saw someone who looked altogether too familiar to me - and it wasn't Anne with an e. No. It was Marilla. She's more of a "Nope.-I don't want to hear it.-Go to your room right now until you confess.-sort of gal. There's no nonsense with her. No understanding of the silly antics that bring the occasional mess. Rarely giving one an idea that she might actually love them. (We're not past the first video yet). I don't want to be like her.
But I am. I generally won't fly off the handle if you make a mess, but I will tell you you have to clean it up. Even if you're one or two years old. And I will make you do it alone if you're capable, but if you're not I will help you.
Then another time, I will get upset at unexpected times and make a huge deal over something that is really tiny. And my kids will stand there looking at me like, "What's the matter with her?" But they won't say it. Nope, cuz they know Mom's lost it. For sure and certain.
And it makes me sad, that I am not there yet. I'm not the perfect Mrs. Brady, but rather I'm Marilla. And I'm not satisfied with that. You see, sometimes I look at them as two totally different people. "Oh," I say, "Well Marilla just doesn't have the same personality as Mrs. Brady, so there's no hope for her. She's just always gonna be that way." O.k now I'm super discouraged.
But when I open the word and look inside, do you know what I see? In Romans 8, where I've been working on memorizing, God tells us the goal of the believer.
You see, I think when God looks at it, He sees that we do indeed have different personalities, but he also sees our growth potential. Maybe Marilla has the potential to become like Mrs Brady, if she yeilds to the Spirit. That gives me so much hope. Now, I know that there is no reason to be discouraged.
I see that as I keep studying the Word and spending time with Him, He will grow me into the image of - not Mrs. Brady - but His own Son. A much more desirable goal anyway. What a wonderful God we serve! Christ is the goal of our hearts and lives and the last word of those verses - when we get to that part - we'll be finally finished and conformed and perfected to what He wants us to be. Praise Him!!!
And now, my little munchkins are waking up before I'm quite finished. I must go and see to their needs with a good attitude even though they are disturbing my quiet time. :)
Making the most of today,
Steph
Everyone groaned, including Carpenter, but I knew if they would just watch a bit that they would get sucked in and enjoy it. So we put the first tape in. I thought the comments from the older boys were hilarious. One in particular has hardly left my mind. "She talks all the time - that's why we don't like watching this movie."
Oho! So you have competition. After that comment, I noticed that between the three of them someone has to be talking at all times. Sometimes two and sometimes all three. A very revealing statement. Just makes me smile and say "Go outside and play."
But back to the title. I love Mrs. Brady - she's so nice - always willing to listen to her kids and their struggles with life. Never exploding because they did something really annoying this time. Just calm, cool and collected. Always showing love and tenderness. I want to be like her.
As I watched Anne of Green Gables, I saw someone who looked altogether too familiar to me - and it wasn't Anne with an e. No. It was Marilla. She's more of a "Nope.-I don't want to hear it.-Go to your room right now until you confess.-sort of gal. There's no nonsense with her. No understanding of the silly antics that bring the occasional mess. Rarely giving one an idea that she might actually love them. (We're not past the first video yet). I don't want to be like her.
But I am. I generally won't fly off the handle if you make a mess, but I will tell you you have to clean it up. Even if you're one or two years old. And I will make you do it alone if you're capable, but if you're not I will help you.
Then another time, I will get upset at unexpected times and make a huge deal over something that is really tiny. And my kids will stand there looking at me like, "What's the matter with her?" But they won't say it. Nope, cuz they know Mom's lost it. For sure and certain.
And it makes me sad, that I am not there yet. I'm not the perfect Mrs. Brady, but rather I'm Marilla. And I'm not satisfied with that. You see, sometimes I look at them as two totally different people. "Oh," I say, "Well Marilla just doesn't have the same personality as Mrs. Brady, so there's no hope for her. She's just always gonna be that way." O.k now I'm super discouraged.
But when I open the word and look inside, do you know what I see? In Romans 8, where I've been working on memorizing, God tells us the goal of the believer.
29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.Crossway Bibles (2011-02-09). The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (with Cross-References) (p. 1138). Good News Publishers/Crossway Books. Kindle Edition.
You see, I think when God looks at it, He sees that we do indeed have different personalities, but he also sees our growth potential. Maybe Marilla has the potential to become like Mrs Brady, if she yeilds to the Spirit. That gives me so much hope. Now, I know that there is no reason to be discouraged.
I see that as I keep studying the Word and spending time with Him, He will grow me into the image of - not Mrs. Brady - but His own Son. A much more desirable goal anyway. What a wonderful God we serve! Christ is the goal of our hearts and lives and the last word of those verses - when we get to that part - we'll be finally finished and conformed and perfected to what He wants us to be. Praise Him!!!
And now, my little munchkins are waking up before I'm quite finished. I must go and see to their needs with a good attitude even though they are disturbing my quiet time. :)
Making the most of today,
Steph
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Thursday's Thoughts
I'm overwhelmed. A song I heard on the radio. Lyrics are in the link below.
http://www.bigdaddyweave.com/songs/overwhelmed
I've been memorizing Romans 8 and Isaiah 53. What can I say but I am in awe of what the Savior has done for me? "For the transgressions of My people, He was stricken." Wow! Never before was He in such a position. He'd always had perfect unity and comminication with the Father.
And now, He chooses to obey the Father's will and redeem us. It wasn't a simple thing. Not at all. He took on flesh - became a man - allowed Himself to be confined to those things that confine us, probably knowing that one day He would face the hardest thing of all. His own Father turning away because the Father could not look upon the sin that was born by His Son.
Amazing! As I read and see how silent He is through all of the beatings and the spittings, the mockery and all that men (the people He Himself had created) were doing to Him. It seems that the hardest thing, the thing He almost couldn't bear, was knowing that God had turned His face away.
Then He cries out, "My God, My God why have you forsaken Me?"
Redemption for us is such a simple thing. Simply believe that He did the work to redeem us. For Him though, it was the hardest thing. He didn't do it because we are worth it, as some people say. We never read that in the Bible. In fact it's the opposite, "while we were His enemies" "The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked." Why do we feel we are justified in not being kind or loving our enemies and yet it's so right for God to be beyond kind to us when we were enemies of His?
So why would He do this hardest thing of all - because of "His great love which He lavished on us". His love is the reason. He wanted us to be able to be called "children of God". Over and over again we see that it's because of His love for us.
I think that we try our hardest to be the best moms, friends, wives etc. What I see as I think of the cross is that we can't be? Not at all. Only by being in Christ and let Him "take the wheel" can we show love. Otherwise it's just our flesh trying to look good. And I'm sorry, but it never can look good. It's self-seeking.
One day the people were singing Hosanna and a week later they were yelling, "Crucify Him!" Or maybe it wasn't even a week. We, as people, are such fickle creatures. We get caught up in the moment. I desire a life change, even now. I know that there are still things in my life that don't please this One who left heaven to come down to earth to be my Savior. I want a heart change, to eradicate the things that are not like Him.
Romans 1:29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
Crossway Bibles (2011-02-09). The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (with Cross-References) (Kindle Locations 180438-180442). Good News Publishers/Crossway Books. Kindle Edition. Making the most of today, Steph
http://www.bigdaddyweave.com/songs/overwhelmed
I've been memorizing Romans 8 and Isaiah 53. What can I say but I am in awe of what the Savior has done for me? "For the transgressions of My people, He was stricken." Wow! Never before was He in such a position. He'd always had perfect unity and comminication with the Father.
And now, He chooses to obey the Father's will and redeem us. It wasn't a simple thing. Not at all. He took on flesh - became a man - allowed Himself to be confined to those things that confine us, probably knowing that one day He would face the hardest thing of all. His own Father turning away because the Father could not look upon the sin that was born by His Son.
Amazing! As I read and see how silent He is through all of the beatings and the spittings, the mockery and all that men (the people He Himself had created) were doing to Him. It seems that the hardest thing, the thing He almost couldn't bear, was knowing that God had turned His face away.
Then He cries out, "My God, My God why have you forsaken Me?"
Redemption for us is such a simple thing. Simply believe that He did the work to redeem us. For Him though, it was the hardest thing. He didn't do it because we are worth it, as some people say. We never read that in the Bible. In fact it's the opposite, "while we were His enemies" "The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked." Why do we feel we are justified in not being kind or loving our enemies and yet it's so right for God to be beyond kind to us when we were enemies of His?
So why would He do this hardest thing of all - because of "His great love which He lavished on us". His love is the reason. He wanted us to be able to be called "children of God". Over and over again we see that it's because of His love for us.
I think that we try our hardest to be the best moms, friends, wives etc. What I see as I think of the cross is that we can't be? Not at all. Only by being in Christ and let Him "take the wheel" can we show love. Otherwise it's just our flesh trying to look good. And I'm sorry, but it never can look good. It's self-seeking.
One day the people were singing Hosanna and a week later they were yelling, "Crucify Him!" Or maybe it wasn't even a week. We, as people, are such fickle creatures. We get caught up in the moment. I desire a life change, even now. I know that there are still things in my life that don't please this One who left heaven to come down to earth to be my Savior. I want a heart change, to eradicate the things that are not like Him.
Romans 1:29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
Crossway Bibles (2011-02-09). The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (with Cross-References) (Kindle Locations 180438-180442). Good News Publishers/Crossway Books. Kindle Edition. Making the most of today, Steph
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Thursday's Thoughts - Redemption
Something I've been thinking about the last few weeks has been redemption. Not sure the word is really redemption, but that's what comes to mind when it happens. Let me give you a somewhat embarassing example.
On Monday, a couple of weeks back the washer quit working. It sounded like it was working but without the strength it needed to agitate it and finally it just didn't start at all. In our house, no washer is a disaster. Plus it's Monday - double disaster.
So I remembered my mom and her "exercise program" in the village where I grew up. 2 buckets with some soap in one of them and her arms were the plungers. This all equaled exercise to my mom. She had a knack for find a way to laugh through the most mundane of things. She turned things into a joy.
I filled the utility sink with water and soap and let a load soak for an hour and then scrubbed by hand and rinsed the clothes. I couldn't get all the water out like the spinner can, but it was o.k. Four loads later, I finally was done. And it wasn't that bad. It would have been a lot worse to take two one-year-olds and a five-year-old to the laundromat.
That night, Carpenter told me I should just call our favorite repairman. "Give him some work." We want to support him in his job and this was our opportunity. This man had bailed us out on a Christmas Eve when our oven's heating element started sparking.
He showed up an hour or two after I called him, which was fine with me. Having caught up on the laundry yesterday, I had one load or so and if he was showing up I was NOT going to do it by hand.
He came down and looked inside at the snowpants that were still dripping from my attempt to put a lighter load to see if that would make the machine work.
"Hmm." He said. I asked if the motor was bad, because there was a funny smell.
"Nope, don't think so. Probably rocks and sand in the motor." Ugh, my heart sank, remembering that I had thrown Tank's uber-super muddy shoes in there to get them clean, and yes, of all the stupid things, I had not rinsed them off first.
"Probably." I said, without revealing my utter stupidity of placing shoes thick with mud in the washer. Praying all the while for it to be something - anything, but that. And yet knowing that he knows machines and was probably - definitely - right.
We figured out how to tip the washer without tipping all the water out. Then he lay down on the floor to look at the motor. Out came a.....sock!!!! In my head, came the word.....redemption. I was relieved not to have to explain rocks in my motor, but a sock - socks are supposed to be washed in the washer.
It must have slipped between the drum and the outside of the washer. It was one of Jules' and her feet are so small that it could have happened easily.
Now, I don't know whether the word is redemption or rescue. I sure felt rescued from having to explain that. It was as if God knew that I didn't need to explain to this repairman my stupidity - that it was possible for me to learn not to do that without having too many people know about it. (But now you all do.)
This isn't the first time it's happened lately, or I definitely would not be confessing this to you. I love how God cares so much for us.
Now, the cross-roads have come. A decision is being made in our house that is super hard for me. It's hard because part of the reason it's being made is because I'm not doing a good enough job - whether it's ability or desire, I'm not sure.
I see reasons for it besides my inability. It's what we have always planned. But it's brought so many tears since yesterday when I called the school to register my boys for public school. I'm praying that my younger ones will still be able to go to the private school, as my failure at teaching leaves me unsure at how I would manage four younger grades when they need more help.
I have homeschooled for 10 years, missing a year or two, but always had a pre-schooler I was teaching. It's been my life. To give it up now is one of the hardest things. And yet for my kids' sake it's the best thing. And now I pray for redemption (or rescue, whatever it is) that when they show up at school the first day, that they will be ready (socially, emotionally, and also academically).
In the grip of grace and His redemption,
Steph
On Monday, a couple of weeks back the washer quit working. It sounded like it was working but without the strength it needed to agitate it and finally it just didn't start at all. In our house, no washer is a disaster. Plus it's Monday - double disaster.
So I remembered my mom and her "exercise program" in the village where I grew up. 2 buckets with some soap in one of them and her arms were the plungers. This all equaled exercise to my mom. She had a knack for find a way to laugh through the most mundane of things. She turned things into a joy.
I filled the utility sink with water and soap and let a load soak for an hour and then scrubbed by hand and rinsed the clothes. I couldn't get all the water out like the spinner can, but it was o.k. Four loads later, I finally was done. And it wasn't that bad. It would have been a lot worse to take two one-year-olds and a five-year-old to the laundromat.
That night, Carpenter told me I should just call our favorite repairman. "Give him some work." We want to support him in his job and this was our opportunity. This man had bailed us out on a Christmas Eve when our oven's heating element started sparking.
He showed up an hour or two after I called him, which was fine with me. Having caught up on the laundry yesterday, I had one load or so and if he was showing up I was NOT going to do it by hand.
He came down and looked inside at the snowpants that were still dripping from my attempt to put a lighter load to see if that would make the machine work.
"Hmm." He said. I asked if the motor was bad, because there was a funny smell.
"Nope, don't think so. Probably rocks and sand in the motor." Ugh, my heart sank, remembering that I had thrown Tank's uber-super muddy shoes in there to get them clean, and yes, of all the stupid things, I had not rinsed them off first.
"Probably." I said, without revealing my utter stupidity of placing shoes thick with mud in the washer. Praying all the while for it to be something - anything, but that. And yet knowing that he knows machines and was probably - definitely - right.
We figured out how to tip the washer without tipping all the water out. Then he lay down on the floor to look at the motor. Out came a.....sock!!!! In my head, came the word.....redemption. I was relieved not to have to explain rocks in my motor, but a sock - socks are supposed to be washed in the washer.
It must have slipped between the drum and the outside of the washer. It was one of Jules' and her feet are so small that it could have happened easily.
Now, I don't know whether the word is redemption or rescue. I sure felt rescued from having to explain that. It was as if God knew that I didn't need to explain to this repairman my stupidity - that it was possible for me to learn not to do that without having too many people know about it. (But now you all do.)
This isn't the first time it's happened lately, or I definitely would not be confessing this to you. I love how God cares so much for us.
Now, the cross-roads have come. A decision is being made in our house that is super hard for me. It's hard because part of the reason it's being made is because I'm not doing a good enough job - whether it's ability or desire, I'm not sure.
I see reasons for it besides my inability. It's what we have always planned. But it's brought so many tears since yesterday when I called the school to register my boys for public school. I'm praying that my younger ones will still be able to go to the private school, as my failure at teaching leaves me unsure at how I would manage four younger grades when they need more help.
You can only do so many things at the same time - and usually none of them well.That's my problem. We've prayed each year for direction, so I don't doubt the past.
I have homeschooled for 10 years, missing a year or two, but always had a pre-schooler I was teaching. It's been my life. To give it up now is one of the hardest things. And yet for my kids' sake it's the best thing. And now I pray for redemption (or rescue, whatever it is) that when they show up at school the first day, that they will be ready (socially, emotionally, and also academically).
In the grip of grace and His redemption,
Steph
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Hello, my name is...
Romans 8:14 "For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God."
Have you heard the song by Matthew West? It's new. If you haven't heard it, look it up on youtube. It's a great song.
The past few weeks have been somewhat discouraging. One thing after another falls apart, I'm working more hours as a sub at the place where I worked before, and I've been failing at things that I want to win at. Things that are important.
Loser. Failure. Reject.
Never mind that I have never in my life been able to keep up with laundry and that is going fine.
Never mind that I am teaching high school Algebra to my 9th grader.
Never mind that I have sometimes up to four extra kids, while I teach three boys.
But I don't want to find justification for my mess ups. I don't need to get snippy with my kids, just because I have too much on my plate. Or maybe it's not too much, maybe I'm just too busy looking at my situation and analyzing all the difficult things I have to do. Sounds like a bit of pride creeping in.
The thing I'm forgetting when I'm thinking the words above - loser, failure, reject - the thing I'm forgetting is that I'm a child of the One True King. And while I am a loser, failure, and a reject, I am not any of these things when I am in Him.
Oh, man that gives me the chills! And this morning, it brought tears to my eyes. I had to quickly recover as I was picking up and dropping off children. But hallelujah! I am a daughter of the King! If I have done wrong, I only need to run quickly to Him and confess it. He gives me the strength to do what I should.
I've been memorizing Romans 8. Wow!!!! Isn't it funny that verses that you've "known" all your life can be so alive? Memorizing them together and in context - amazing! So many things and questions about verses I've known all my life.
For instance, in Romans 1, it talks about the righteousness of God being revealed from faith to faith. What kinds of faith are we talking about? Is it two different kinds of faith? I have been thoroughly enjoying pondering some of these things.
In Romans 8, I love the picture of living according to the Spirit as opposed to living according to the flesh. I want to be sold out for Christ, living according to the Spirit as much as possible. When I walk according to the flesh, I know that I can quickly return to the King and confess and I'm back in fellowship and walking according to the Spirit again.
After I've listened to that song and been reminded of my standing in Christ, it made me think of my kids. Sometimes I condemn them and point out their faults. I'm not saying that I shouldn't help them grow. But I need to make sure that they know that they are children of the King too and that He can give them the power to continue their growth toward maturity. I'm not there yet and never will be, I can't expect it of them.
This post seems to be hitting a lot of different things. Hopefully, it doesn't sound disjointed as I feel it is, but I pray that you are a daughter/son of the King and you're finding your identity in Him, not in the things you do. If you aren't a daughter/son of the King, you can read more about His love for you here.
Romans 8:16-17 "The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him."
Making the most of today,
Steph
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Thursday's Thoughts - A servant's heart
Mark 10:45 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”These last weeks I've been thinking about serving my family. It has come up in posts of different blogs I read. It comes up in the verses I memorize and in the scripture I'm reading. Seems to me that I'm being delivered a message of something I need to be working on.
And tonight, after a long day of piano lessons and early-out from school and three kids in daycare instead of two, homemade pizza and starting to build a greenhouse, I looked at the pile of dishes and felt wiped out.
A picture came to mind of a scene from my earlier years. I'm quite certain it happened on more than one occasion. One of us or all three of us complaining about the dishes, and my dad waltzing into the kitchen didn't get mad at us or start ordering us around, just simply said "You go play, I'll do the dishes."
Oh, man, did we ever feel awful!! There's Dad whistling in the kitchen as he does the work of the three of us. Sometimes, most times, we'd go back and beg to help feeling so guilty. But no, he would have none of it. And firmly and cheerfully, he told us he was going to finish them.
My dad gave us an example of Jesus washing His disciples feet. He served us when it was really our responsibility to serve him and our family in this way.
I can just see the disciples (John 13:1). It doesn't say much about why Jesus washed their feet except that He knew what was coming, and He loved them. I've always wondered if someone hadn't done it when they entered the house. I even thought that they had been arguing right before that about who was the greatest. But it doesn't make that connection in John.
I imagine that the disciples were looking around at each other and feeling a bit guilty about Jesus, the master, doing a servant's job. Peter's even bold enough to say something. "Hey, Jesus, you're not gonna wash my feet." He ends up turning it around after Jesus speaks to him about it.
It wasn't the place of the master to wash the feet in their culture. One of the servants would do it. I'm not sure if there was no servant in that room because it was rented. Or if Jesus was just making a point. Had no one stooped low enough to serve the others?
My dad showed his servant's heart even more when my mom was slowly becoming more and more sick. He didn't complain of the extra load. He whistled and joked to help us through one of the toughest situations I've ever been through.
When he was all alone caring for mom, with my brother in college and my sister married and me in missionary training again. He didn't complain of the tasks, but was cheerful on the phone. We never knew how hard it was because he was nothing like me. He didn't complain.
Proverbs 15:15 All the days of the afflicted are evil, but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast.
I wish I would have recognized it sooner and learned at his feet better. He served his family joyfully. It seemed he recognized that this was God's will for him and he was willing. He served my mom right through to the end.
I have a great example, in my dad, of a servant. I am so thankful to God for my dad. And I'm also thankful that he's found someone new to share his life with. They've been married just a bit longer than Carpenter and I. And between the two of them they have six kids spread across the United States.
 |
| My dad tickling my feet while my cousin laughs instead of rescuing me. |
Making the most of today,
Steph
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Thursday's Thoughts - "Let my words be few"
This song was playing late the other night when I came home from work and then the next morning I jumped in the car to drive Sharpie to work and it was playing again. Deserves some pondering, I think.
Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out
Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You
I wonder just how well am I doing with my words. Am I pointing the world to God or just to me, and all the brilliance I have to give, which is nothing? The wisdom of the world is foolishness.
I'm a talker. Not at home, but especially when I get let out of my cage. Then you won't hear me let up at all. Can you just see it? There I am running around, "I'm free. I'm with adults. Let's talk about something, anything!" And they're standing there saying, "Where did she come from?"
I don't want to be talking just for the sake of it. But pointing the world to God has been hard for me. I just don't feel comfortable talking about it at work. It's been a shameful thing to me. How can you be a missionary if you don't even tell your community about the Lord? But that's me. I know what to do overseas, but in my little farming community, I'm tight-lipped about the gospel.
If I took these words to heart, there would be so many things that I wouldn't talk about - those sleepless nights at the beginning of the week when I was getting home later than normal - who cares? It's not that big of a deal. Except to see God working in that He gave me a break with day care those next two days.
Complaints would be off the list of acceptable topics. Because that surely does not point the world back to God. Frustrations would be off the list, grudges unacceptable as well. So let my words be few.
Let me be a listener. I can easily say that I definitely am not one of those people. I'm so blessed to have two of them in my life - one older and one younger. And while they may have that as a natural character trait, I think part of it is that they've trained themselves to listen.
So for the next days, I want to keep my mouth quieter, so that I can hear what is going on in someone else's heart. And while it's quieter and listening, I want to be praying that my words would be few and words that point others to God.
"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14
Making the most of today
Steph
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Thursday's Thoughts - Playing the martyr
This last week and month, I've been reading my e-mails from FLYLady. Some of the e-mails don't pertain to things I'm struggling with but I find encouragement there to keep pressing on. www.flylady.com is a site that I use for help with housekeeping. When I'm using it, it helps a lot.
She's been talking lately about being a martyr. I know a lot about that. Often I can be found in the kitchen grumbling out loud or in my heart about all that I have to do and no one is really helping and if I have to tell them then it's not service from their heart. Wait, what????? I'd have to say if I'm grumbling then it's not service from my heart either.
Yesterday, I woke up to a sort-of clean but mostly dirty kitchen. I had been gone till everyone was in bed last night. I knew that I was doing the wrong thing by complaining, but I was grumbling about how I have to pay if I ever leave the house. Consequences of a night at guild.
I even grumbled to my husband about it. He told me that they had done the dishes but the dishes on the counter were rejects. They hadn't just left it all for me. I should have known better. My man likes having the dishes done and there is no way he would have just let it get skipped.
There are days when I get it. When I realize that I cannot let my happiness be determined by whether or not a child does his chores willingly, or not at all. There are days when I am willing to bend over backward for my family, to be the kind of mom that I envision is a good mom, but that's not most days.
When my child complains "He dried only 5 dishes and I dried 10." I am so tempted to reveal the fact that, "Hey, I cooked, I'm washing the dishes, and then I'll probably end up helping you dry." At the times when I do that, they look at me like I'm an alien from another planet. Because they have that same super-mom in their head.
Not long ago, as the above scenario was playing out in my kitchen AGAIN. A thought came, I believe it was the Lord gently admonishing, "You are the mom, they are the child. When you were the child, you did not have the weight of running a household on your shoulders. Take the weight I give you and do not pass it on to your children. It is yours. Theirs is different."
Why do I lose the fact that serving my family is a privilege? I want it to be a joy. It's not when I get selfish and only think about my wants. I want to enjoy serving my family. I need to stop the grumbling in it's tracks and start being thankful.
It's rather interesting to me that last week's post was about being thankful and this week I had the most trouble with that.
Making the most of today
Steph
Today I read through Numbers 24 and Psalm 24 and Proverbs 10. Currently I'm working on Romans 1:31-32 for memory.
She's been talking lately about being a martyr. I know a lot about that. Often I can be found in the kitchen grumbling out loud or in my heart about all that I have to do and no one is really helping and if I have to tell them then it's not service from their heart. Wait, what????? I'd have to say if I'm grumbling then it's not service from my heart either.
Yesterday, I woke up to a sort-of clean but mostly dirty kitchen. I had been gone till everyone was in bed last night. I knew that I was doing the wrong thing by complaining, but I was grumbling about how I have to pay if I ever leave the house. Consequences of a night at guild.
I even grumbled to my husband about it. He told me that they had done the dishes but the dishes on the counter were rejects. They hadn't just left it all for me. I should have known better. My man likes having the dishes done and there is no way he would have just let it get skipped.
There are days when I get it. When I realize that I cannot let my happiness be determined by whether or not a child does his chores willingly, or not at all. There are days when I am willing to bend over backward for my family, to be the kind of mom that I envision is a good mom, but that's not most days.
When my child complains "He dried only 5 dishes and I dried 10." I am so tempted to reveal the fact that, "Hey, I cooked, I'm washing the dishes, and then I'll probably end up helping you dry." At the times when I do that, they look at me like I'm an alien from another planet. Because they have that same super-mom in their head.
Not long ago, as the above scenario was playing out in my kitchen AGAIN. A thought came, I believe it was the Lord gently admonishing, "You are the mom, they are the child. When you were the child, you did not have the weight of running a household on your shoulders. Take the weight I give you and do not pass it on to your children. It is yours. Theirs is different."
Why do I lose the fact that serving my family is a privilege? I want it to be a joy. It's not when I get selfish and only think about my wants. I want to enjoy serving my family. I need to stop the grumbling in it's tracks and start being thankful.
It's rather interesting to me that last week's post was about being thankful and this week I had the most trouble with that.
Making the most of today
Steph
Today I read through Numbers 24 and Psalm 24 and Proverbs 10. Currently I'm working on Romans 1:31-32 for memory.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Thursday's study - "nor were they thankful"
Happy Valentine's Day!!!! I hope we remember the greatest gift of love today - Jesus on that cross for us. We are free because of Him.
As you know, if you've been following my blog, I've been reading through the Bible this year. I've also been studying the book by Linda Dillow called, "What's It Like To Be Married To Me?" and I've been memorizing Romans chapter 1. It's amazing to me how these three things have come together to work on a specific area in my life.
Thankfulness.
Each day, with a few skipped days, I have been reviewing my verses on Scripture Typer at www.scripturetyper.com . It's been a rewarding task on my to-do list. I have really dug in deep and gleaned more than I would from reading a text. So lately I've been typing over and over the words "nor were thankful".
Then as I've been reading in Numbers 13 and 14, the story of the 12 spies sent in to spy out the land. They freaked out and got all worked up over the enormity of the job of conquering the land.
As I read I was thinking, "What a lot! Grumbling and complaining all the time!!" God has shown them so much and yet here they were getting all worried about doing as God had asked, as if He wouldn't care for them and give them the power and strength to do it.
And finally in Linda Dillow's book, she has a section on griping. O.k., o.k. I'm starting to see a connection here. And I don't think it's about the Israelites anymore, I think it's about me.
Grumbling and complaining, oh no, never in my house. Well, I might but only if you're bickering and complaining about the food. So I'll complain about you complaining.
Nor were thankful
I'm not really sure of this. The Bible doesn't spell it out quite like this, but I believe that if we're thanking God for things there is no way we can complain about those things or even anything else at the same time. Thankfulness leaves no room for complaining.
If the Israelites had instead turned to the God who had brough water from a rock,
who had brought quail in to feed 2.5 million people,
who had manna falling from heaven,
who didn't let their shoes wear out - hey, I'm buying shoes every little bit it seems for one or another in this house!
What if they had chosen to be thankful? Sometimes that's hard. You don't have anything to drink and you need some water - how can you be thankful in such things? I contend that you only have one recourse (aside from the complaining) that is to thank God that He brought you through the Red Sea just days before and trust Him to supply your need.
Can you imagine what would have happened if the people would have ignored the 10 spies and listened to Caleb and Joshua? They would have skipped all that wandering in the wilderness. The 10 spies were immediately struck down. I know God is wise and knows what He's doing, but I was thinking, "Hey, that's too easy for them. They get to die right away? While all the others have to wander around and still not enter the promised land?"
And what would happen in my house, if instead of grumbling about a situation, I were thankful. Thankful for an opportunity to serve, thankful for a home, thankful for a family, for a husband who works hard and comes home, thankful for healthy children - though sometimes I may feel they have been given too much energy.
If nothing else, in the midst of a trial, be thankful for the cross, even if it's something outside the situation. Linda Dillow uses bracelets to help us catch ourselves complaining. Every time you complain you switch the bracelet. Could you go a whole day without complaining? or is 10 minutes more your challenge? I think if you count thoughts, mine would fall to the latter.
Making the most of today,
Steph
Today we're reading to Numbers 18 and Psalm 20 and I'm still working on verses 23 and 24 in Romans. Just didn't get to it yesterday, working on Valentine's crafts for today.
Have a wonderful day!
As you know, if you've been following my blog, I've been reading through the Bible this year. I've also been studying the book by Linda Dillow called, "What's It Like To Be Married To Me?" and I've been memorizing Romans chapter 1. It's amazing to me how these three things have come together to work on a specific area in my life.
Thankfulness.
Each day, with a few skipped days, I have been reviewing my verses on Scripture Typer at www.scripturetyper.com . It's been a rewarding task on my to-do list. I have really dug in deep and gleaned more than I would from reading a text. So lately I've been typing over and over the words "nor were thankful".
Then as I've been reading in Numbers 13 and 14, the story of the 12 spies sent in to spy out the land. They freaked out and got all worked up over the enormity of the job of conquering the land.
As I read I was thinking, "What a lot! Grumbling and complaining all the time!!" God has shown them so much and yet here they were getting all worried about doing as God had asked, as if He wouldn't care for them and give them the power and strength to do it.
And finally in Linda Dillow's book, she has a section on griping. O.k., o.k. I'm starting to see a connection here. And I don't think it's about the Israelites anymore, I think it's about me.
Grumbling and complaining, oh no, never in my house. Well, I might but only if you're bickering and complaining about the food. So I'll complain about you complaining.
Nor were thankful
I'm not really sure of this. The Bible doesn't spell it out quite like this, but I believe that if we're thanking God for things there is no way we can complain about those things or even anything else at the same time. Thankfulness leaves no room for complaining.
If the Israelites had instead turned to the God who had brough water from a rock,
who had brought quail in to feed 2.5 million people,
who had manna falling from heaven,
who didn't let their shoes wear out - hey, I'm buying shoes every little bit it seems for one or another in this house!
What if they had chosen to be thankful? Sometimes that's hard. You don't have anything to drink and you need some water - how can you be thankful in such things? I contend that you only have one recourse (aside from the complaining) that is to thank God that He brought you through the Red Sea just days before and trust Him to supply your need.
Can you imagine what would have happened if the people would have ignored the 10 spies and listened to Caleb and Joshua? They would have skipped all that wandering in the wilderness. The 10 spies were immediately struck down. I know God is wise and knows what He's doing, but I was thinking, "Hey, that's too easy for them. They get to die right away? While all the others have to wander around and still not enter the promised land?"
And what would happen in my house, if instead of grumbling about a situation, I were thankful. Thankful for an opportunity to serve, thankful for a home, thankful for a family, for a husband who works hard and comes home, thankful for healthy children - though sometimes I may feel they have been given too much energy.
If nothing else, in the midst of a trial, be thankful for the cross, even if it's something outside the situation. Linda Dillow uses bracelets to help us catch ourselves complaining. Every time you complain you switch the bracelet. Could you go a whole day without complaining? or is 10 minutes more your challenge? I think if you count thoughts, mine would fall to the latter.
Making the most of today,
Steph
Today we're reading to Numbers 18 and Psalm 20 and I'm still working on verses 23 and 24 in Romans. Just didn't get to it yesterday, working on Valentine's crafts for today.
Have a wonderful day!
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Fruit of the Spirit and the works of the flesh
I tried something this last week. Struggling with contention and strife in our house. Quibbling and fighting. One person was specifically the source, but others were following the lead and once it starts it's a downward spin.
Talking with Carpenter about the problem, he suggested that I help them realize that it's about walking in the flesh or walking in the Spirit.
So starting on Monday, we had some contention and I sent the "source" to Galatians 5:16-26
Seems to be appropriate for the problems here. So I had "the source" take a look at these verses in Galatians and make a list for me of the works of the flesh and the fruits of the Spirit.
Later on that day, "the source" was starting a problem. I told "the source" to look at the list and let me know what work of the flesh was being played out at the time.
"The source" came back with one word, "contention". Oh, yeah, you're getting it. I love it when they understand what I'm trying to communicate and helping them understand God's word better.
Making the most of today
Steph
February 7th - Reading through Leviticus 24 and Psalm 13. Continuing to memorize Romans 1:1-14
Talking with Carpenter about the problem, he suggested that I help them realize that it's about walking in the flesh or walking in the Spirit.
So starting on Monday, we had some contention and I sent the "source" to Galatians 5:16-26
16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.
18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness,
20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies,
21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self–control. Against such there is no law.
24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
Seems to be appropriate for the problems here. So I had "the source" take a look at these verses in Galatians and make a list for me of the works of the flesh and the fruits of the Spirit.
Later on that day, "the source" was starting a problem. I told "the source" to look at the list and let me know what work of the flesh was being played out at the time.
"The source" came back with one word, "contention". Oh, yeah, you're getting it. I love it when they understand what I'm trying to communicate and helping them understand God's word better.
Making the most of today
Steph
February 7th - Reading through Leviticus 24 and Psalm 13. Continuing to memorize Romans 1:1-14
Thursday, January 31, 2013
When the frustration comes
Yesterday I had an opportunity to help my husband. Our car was stuck and he was going to pull it out with the truck. Heading into it I knew there would be frustration and trouble. I did not want to go.
This past winter we've had a few experiences of being stuck. Each and every time it turns out the same. I think I know what he's meaning when he tells me which way to turn, but I don't and then, I'm stuck in a new place.
I see him waving his arms to go a certain way and so I head that way and realize that I misread his waving instructions. There have been times he's gotten out of the truck and come over to tell me the plan. I think I understand, but no, when I'm done I'm far from where he needed me to be.
One of these times we're gonna get there, or I'll just give up and hand it over to my almost-driving boy who thinks like his dad and will probably intuitively know what to do.
I know this is a way that our marriage can grow, but when I was getting ready to go yesterday, I was dreading it. Dreading the sinking feeling that would be in the pit of my stomach when I didn't actually help my husband, but made things worse.
We, as wives, aren't supposed to do that. We are the helper. But in this case, it wasn't a matter of sin, it was a matter of a brain that doesn't function in cases of slippery roads and under pressure. I can't think straight, especially when I know I'm probably going to do it wrong.
I was thinking about this in terms of our communication with God. Do you ever feel like He's waving His arms telling you to go a certain way and you go that way tentatively because you aren't really sure if that's what He's telling you? There are two windshields between you and God and so you think you know what He's saying, but you're not sure.
I feel like that a lot. But you know, God's instructions are clearly spelled out for us. Sometimes we make His will very blurry for ourselves. He has given us freedom and yet we sit waiting, "What if we do the wrong thing?"
As parents, we shouldn't have a specific goal in mind for our children's future. We could cause a lot of problems if we decide at two, that Missy should be a doctor. We don't pick for them the person to marry and yet, somehow, we think God does that to us.
Could it be that He just wants us to go with the guidelines He's set up in His word and then we get to pick? He doesn't just have one person out there. I went to mission's training when I was still single. Anyone of those men were godly and specifically the ones that I clicked with as friends could have been options for marriage.
I'm not saying God didn't have a hand in bringing Carpenter into my life and that He didn't orchestrate some parts of it - kind of like a parent setting up his child with someone who has a potential to be a good spouse for him.
But we sometimes get worried we'll be sinning if we don't get it right. God's not hiding himself from us. We must believe that. He has given us all we need. I think it's our misconstrued ideas about God that mess us up.
So let's get into His Word and ask Him to change those things, and stop living in fear of doing the wrong thing and just get out and DO!
Making the most of today
Steph
Day 31 - through Leviticus 3 and Psalm 6 and I'm working on Romans 1:11-12
This past winter we've had a few experiences of being stuck. Each and every time it turns out the same. I think I know what he's meaning when he tells me which way to turn, but I don't and then, I'm stuck in a new place.
I see him waving his arms to go a certain way and so I head that way and realize that I misread his waving instructions. There have been times he's gotten out of the truck and come over to tell me the plan. I think I understand, but no, when I'm done I'm far from where he needed me to be.
One of these times we're gonna get there, or I'll just give up and hand it over to my almost-driving boy who thinks like his dad and will probably intuitively know what to do.
I know this is a way that our marriage can grow, but when I was getting ready to go yesterday, I was dreading it. Dreading the sinking feeling that would be in the pit of my stomach when I didn't actually help my husband, but made things worse.
We, as wives, aren't supposed to do that. We are the helper. But in this case, it wasn't a matter of sin, it was a matter of a brain that doesn't function in cases of slippery roads and under pressure. I can't think straight, especially when I know I'm probably going to do it wrong.
I was thinking about this in terms of our communication with God. Do you ever feel like He's waving His arms telling you to go a certain way and you go that way tentatively because you aren't really sure if that's what He's telling you? There are two windshields between you and God and so you think you know what He's saying, but you're not sure.
I feel like that a lot. But you know, God's instructions are clearly spelled out for us. Sometimes we make His will very blurry for ourselves. He has given us freedom and yet we sit waiting, "What if we do the wrong thing?"
As parents, we shouldn't have a specific goal in mind for our children's future. We could cause a lot of problems if we decide at two, that Missy should be a doctor. We don't pick for them the person to marry and yet, somehow, we think God does that to us.
Could it be that He just wants us to go with the guidelines He's set up in His word and then we get to pick? He doesn't just have one person out there. I went to mission's training when I was still single. Anyone of those men were godly and specifically the ones that I clicked with as friends could have been options for marriage.
I'm not saying God didn't have a hand in bringing Carpenter into my life and that He didn't orchestrate some parts of it - kind of like a parent setting up his child with someone who has a potential to be a good spouse for him.
But we sometimes get worried we'll be sinning if we don't get it right. God's not hiding himself from us. We must believe that. He has given us all we need. I think it's our misconstrued ideas about God that mess us up.
So let's get into His Word and ask Him to change those things, and stop living in fear of doing the wrong thing and just get out and DO!
Making the most of today
Steph
Day 31 - through Leviticus 3 and Psalm 6 and I'm working on Romans 1:11-12
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Discouragement sets in
Do you ever feel like a hamster running on a wheel each day? You keep doing the same things over and over and when you turn around they all need to be done again. Or you know you need to speak more gently and quietly with your children, but every time you turn around you're doing it again?
This is the place Satan wants us. The more discouraged we are, the less effective we are. In fact,we aren't effective at all. I find myself on a downward spiral, going further and further. I feel like the things I'm thinking are truth, but when I stop and think, I realize...it's lies.
You're never gonna get it right. All you do is slave, slave, slave away and no one helps ever. You start speaking in absolutes. Everything is always awful,and never good. More lies.
The Father of Lies wants us to believe him. He wants us to think he's right.
And He cares about the tiniest sparrow and knows when one falls to the ground, how much more, Jesus asks, will He care for us?
I have found the need to stand up and think thoughts of truth. I am nothing in and of myself, but in Christ, I am a daughter of the King. I can choose to gripe about my lot in life, as a mother, and pass that discontent onto my children. Or I can choose to joyfully take up the task and serve my beloved family.
Whichever way I choose determines the way that my children will think that I see them. Griping will make them realize they are just a hassle and the cause of all my problems. Serving with joy will allow them to see that I love them and they are a welcome part of our family.
And that is where I left the post last night. I climbed into bed and hot tears dripping down my face, I shared with my husband the struggle it's been lately. I shared that I have to go to the orthodontist in a town 1/2 hour away and take two babies and one five-year old and the one who needs to go.... AND.... and I'm already super tired. How will I be able to handle it, even if I am trying to do what's right?
My husband, lovingly and kindly, took me in his arms and shared with me some precious truths. Some things I hadn't even thought of. He said it's about believing God. Such a simple statement and full, as I look at the struggle I face. Am I believing that God has this for me and it's in my best interest? Uh, I'm sure not acting like it.
The other thing he said pertained to my last question - How will I be able to handle it, even if I am trying to do what's right? He said, "It seems to me that if you're walking in the flesh (trying to do it in your own strength) that yes, it would be harder; but if you're walking in the Spirit, it won't be harder, just because you're exhausted - it will be the same." You know, I think he's right. I have to think on that a bit more.
God has given us everything for life and godliness - that's in Peter. So if that's true then we need nothing more to handle the situations of life. Paul and Silas singing in a jail with their backs laid bare with wounds and bleeding. I'm pretty sure that they were tired - try sleeping with your hands and feet in chains. I guess I don't have too much to complain about.
Also I think of two women that I have known in my life - one briefly so I'm purely guessing about her, and one that I sat at the feet of and was discipled by - my mother.
The first had MS and was in a wheelchair when I met her. I didn't get a chance to know her well, but I'm pretty sure that her children were still in school then. She couldn't serve them in the ways she wanted to - as a "normal" mother does.
My brother had just started high school when my mom got sick. She may have been able to do some for him at the beginning, but toward the end, my dad was the keeper of the home. I know that even though she couldn't serve with her hands, she was always listening and giving of her time.
But I know in her heart she was wishing she could do the dishes and the laundry for her family - all of those things that I grumble about doing. Soooo it's all about perspective, and the grass is always greener. But I don't want to be like that. I want to serve with joy - and I don't think that means that I have to love doing the dishes, but just that I'm thinking of serving the Lord while I do it. In the end, I think I may end up loving it. :)
Making the most of today
Steph
Day 24 - through Exodus 22 - I can see that I've been like the children of Israel grumbling about my lot in life. And just starting Esther 9
This is the place Satan wants us. The more discouraged we are, the less effective we are. In fact,we aren't effective at all. I find myself on a downward spiral, going further and further. I feel like the things I'm thinking are truth, but when I stop and think, I realize...it's lies.
You're never gonna get it right. All you do is slave, slave, slave away and no one helps ever. You start speaking in absolutes. Everything is always awful,and never good. More lies.
The Father of Lies wants us to believe him. He wants us to think he's right.
"I will lift up my eyes to the hills where my help comes from. My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth."Have you ever really thought about that? He raised the dead to life and caused the blind to see. He fed thousands of people from one small basket of food and had twelve large baskets left over. He created the universe.
And He cares about the tiniest sparrow and knows when one falls to the ground, how much more, Jesus asks, will He care for us?
I have found the need to stand up and think thoughts of truth. I am nothing in and of myself, but in Christ, I am a daughter of the King. I can choose to gripe about my lot in life, as a mother, and pass that discontent onto my children. Or I can choose to joyfully take up the task and serve my beloved family.
Whichever way I choose determines the way that my children will think that I see them. Griping will make them realize they are just a hassle and the cause of all my problems. Serving with joy will allow them to see that I love them and they are a welcome part of our family.
And that is where I left the post last night. I climbed into bed and hot tears dripping down my face, I shared with my husband the struggle it's been lately. I shared that I have to go to the orthodontist in a town 1/2 hour away and take two babies and one five-year old and the one who needs to go.... AND.... and I'm already super tired. How will I be able to handle it, even if I am trying to do what's right?
My husband, lovingly and kindly, took me in his arms and shared with me some precious truths. Some things I hadn't even thought of. He said it's about believing God. Such a simple statement and full, as I look at the struggle I face. Am I believing that God has this for me and it's in my best interest? Uh, I'm sure not acting like it.
The other thing he said pertained to my last question - How will I be able to handle it, even if I am trying to do what's right? He said, "It seems to me that if you're walking in the flesh (trying to do it in your own strength) that yes, it would be harder; but if you're walking in the Spirit, it won't be harder, just because you're exhausted - it will be the same." You know, I think he's right. I have to think on that a bit more.
God has given us everything for life and godliness - that's in Peter. So if that's true then we need nothing more to handle the situations of life. Paul and Silas singing in a jail with their backs laid bare with wounds and bleeding. I'm pretty sure that they were tired - try sleeping with your hands and feet in chains. I guess I don't have too much to complain about.
Also I think of two women that I have known in my life - one briefly so I'm purely guessing about her, and one that I sat at the feet of and was discipled by - my mother.
The first had MS and was in a wheelchair when I met her. I didn't get a chance to know her well, but I'm pretty sure that her children were still in school then. She couldn't serve them in the ways she wanted to - as a "normal" mother does.
My brother had just started high school when my mom got sick. She may have been able to do some for him at the beginning, but toward the end, my dad was the keeper of the home. I know that even though she couldn't serve with her hands, she was always listening and giving of her time.
But I know in her heart she was wishing she could do the dishes and the laundry for her family - all of those things that I grumble about doing. Soooo it's all about perspective, and the grass is always greener. But I don't want to be like that. I want to serve with joy - and I don't think that means that I have to love doing the dishes, but just that I'm thinking of serving the Lord while I do it. In the end, I think I may end up loving it. :)
Making the most of today
Steph
Day 24 - through Exodus 22 - I can see that I've been like the children of Israel grumbling about my lot in life. And just starting Esther 9
Thursday, January 17, 2013
The weight which so easily entangles
A couple of years ago, I decided to quit playing games on Facebook. It happened to be on New Year's Eve, but it wasn't a New Year's resolution. My family was gone to the New Year's Eve party at church where we play games and eat yummy food. I wasn't there because my baby was sick and I was messing around on Facebook while he slept.
There is nothing wrong with playing games on Facebook and certainly there was nothing wrong with doing it at the time. But I have a problem. It's a weight that entangles. Hebrews 12:1"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,"
I can't play one game, and if I get sucked into it today, I will do it tomorrow and the next day and the next day. It's a time waster for me and it accomplishes nothing for me, and usually ends up leaving me drained, not rested. But it somehow has the power to suck me in and keep me hostage.
As I said before it's not sin. There is nothing wrong with playing a game or two or a lot. But for me, it is wrong. I don't have self-control with it. Now, I don't play it for hours on end, nor do I ignore pressing needs in my home.
There are other things that I enjoy when I'm taking a break, reading a good book, quilting, etc. When I'm finished with those things, I feel energized and excited and I have something to show for it.
A couple of times since that day two years ago, I have tried to do a game on Facebook, just a little thing, kind of like solitaire. It doesn't work for me. There are those of you who have no trouble with this, but this is my thing, my weight that bogs me down and I can't continue life without being held hostage by it.
So instead of continuing to try to find a way to make games on-line work for me, I'm going to read a book to relax, or pull out my material and make a block for a quilt. I don't need this - being held hostage by a silly game.
I see it with my boys and the Wii and the games they play. If they don't set the timer they play for hours, thinking it's been a few minutes. And they are all-consumed with the next time they get to play the Wii. Not healthy.
The TV is a time-sucker as well. Once turned on, it doesn't get turned off and we end up looking for the best of the worst. Nothing good is on, but we'll watch the best thing on. Really, do we need to be watching anything? What about a game? or the radio?
This post is a bit related to yesterday's. I want to be reaching and striving to see the gifts God gives.
Making the most of today
Steph
There is nothing wrong with playing games on Facebook and certainly there was nothing wrong with doing it at the time. But I have a problem. It's a weight that entangles. Hebrews 12:1"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,"
I can't play one game, and if I get sucked into it today, I will do it tomorrow and the next day and the next day. It's a time waster for me and it accomplishes nothing for me, and usually ends up leaving me drained, not rested. But it somehow has the power to suck me in and keep me hostage.
As I said before it's not sin. There is nothing wrong with playing a game or two or a lot. But for me, it is wrong. I don't have self-control with it. Now, I don't play it for hours on end, nor do I ignore pressing needs in my home.
There are other things that I enjoy when I'm taking a break, reading a good book, quilting, etc. When I'm finished with those things, I feel energized and excited and I have something to show for it.
A couple of times since that day two years ago, I have tried to do a game on Facebook, just a little thing, kind of like solitaire. It doesn't work for me. There are those of you who have no trouble with this, but this is my thing, my weight that bogs me down and I can't continue life without being held hostage by it.
So instead of continuing to try to find a way to make games on-line work for me, I'm going to read a book to relax, or pull out my material and make a block for a quilt. I don't need this - being held hostage by a silly game.
I see it with my boys and the Wii and the games they play. If they don't set the timer they play for hours, thinking it's been a few minutes. And they are all-consumed with the next time they get to play the Wii. Not healthy.
The TV is a time-sucker as well. Once turned on, it doesn't get turned off and we end up looking for the best of the worst. Nothing good is on, but we'll watch the best thing on. Really, do we need to be watching anything? What about a game? or the radio?
This post is a bit related to yesterday's. I want to be reaching and striving to see the gifts God gives.
Making the most of today
Steph
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Thankfulness
The other day, Carpenter called me from work. "Tonight," he said, "we must send out thank-yous for the gifts we recieved on Christmas Day." So thankful that he thought of it. It was in my plan to write thank-yous while the kids were on Christmas break, but we were having to much fun doing nothing much at all.
So that night, I got out the stickers and some construction paper. I had thought that we would each make our own, but at that time of night (8:00) I was too tired to get that all organized, so I made a card for each person we needed to thank. I wrote a short note of thanks and then passed it to the next person.
Each child could pick out one card to decorate with stickers, otherwise it would be all stickers with no note.
We had fun working together. It wasn't the way I planned or envisioned it, but it is done. The next day, I put them in envelopes and today they are heading out in the mail.
I think it's not necessary anymore to write thank-you's at least from a givers standpoint, as long as I know you got the package I sent. But it's very nice to recieve a thank-you and it's one way for my kids to remember that they were blessed with a gift and that giver can be respected with a simple card and one sentence to say Thank you.
Day 10 - just finished reading through Genesis 30 and I'm studying Esther 7 - I was wrong yesterday and had just finished up chapter 6. How are you all doing?
So that night, I got out the stickers and some construction paper. I had thought that we would each make our own, but at that time of night (8:00) I was too tired to get that all organized, so I made a card for each person we needed to thank. I wrote a short note of thanks and then passed it to the next person.
Each child could pick out one card to decorate with stickers, otherwise it would be all stickers with no note.
We had fun working together. It wasn't the way I planned or envisioned it, but it is done. The next day, I put them in envelopes and today they are heading out in the mail.
I think it's not necessary anymore to write thank-you's at least from a givers standpoint, as long as I know you got the package I sent. But it's very nice to recieve a thank-you and it's one way for my kids to remember that they were blessed with a gift and that giver can be respected with a simple card and one sentence to say Thank you.
Day 10 - just finished reading through Genesis 30 and I'm studying Esther 7 - I was wrong yesterday and had just finished up chapter 6. How are you all doing?
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Bible Study
Esther 3:6 But he disdained to lay hands on Mordecai alone, for they had told him who the people of Mordecai were; therefore Haman sought to destroy all the Jews, the people of Mordecai, who were throughout the whole kingdom of Ahasuerus.Something stood out to me yesterday as I read this. Haman was angry because Mordecai wouldn't bow to him, and so instead of taking revenge on only Mordecai, he decided to go for his entire people group.
I've been thinking about Haman's attitude. He allowed something simple - one man in a whole city of people - to bother him. His anger seethed inside of him until he was ready to kill a whole group of people, even the babies.
I'd like to say that I never get angry - that I never allow little things to bother me, but it's not true. Have you ever found yourself over-reacting when things aren't going your way. I feel like I'm in some kind of time-freeze when that happens. It's like everyone stops and is frozen in time, while I'm thinking, "What in the world? Are you seriously getting angry about THAT????" And maybe they are really frozen, with mouths agape because they are thinking the same thing.
It's at that point, the Spirit's reminder, that I make a choice - will I choose to ask forgiveness for my outburst or will I try to justify it and continue on ranting and raving?
Proverbs 16:32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.I want to be that kind of a person. But you know what? Mostly, I don't think that we are automatically like this. Oh, some people tend to be gentler. But we all are prideful. If we don't run into any challenges or any situations that cause our blood to boil, then we won't become this type of person. It takes practice, beating our body - or mind in this case - into submission.
Because I desire this attitude, and I'm asking God to help me in this area, I'm pretty sure that I will come across some challenging situations. I have been. But here's the thing. I want to grow, but growth does not take place in a vacuum, a place with no trouble. So I will pray for patience if that's where I see a need in my life.
But this year, my one word is gentle. I want to be gentler in my dealing with the children. And this is where I see this applying. The opposite is anger, at least in my case. And while, I can see many storms brewing because of this desire of my heart, I say, "Bring them on, if the Lord wills.", because they can only cause growth and that is my heart's desire.
Please don't think that I am asking for storms and trouble. We don't want tornadoes to come through and devastate our home, but we prepare for them. I guess that is what I want to do. I want to realize that this is a possibility and be ready to walk faithfully with each one so that I can learn what He has to teach me.
Day 3's reading for me was the rest of Esther chapter 3 and Genesis 7-9
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