It's been awhile since I have had my own new baby in the house - four years or so. I forget about all the interruptions that come when you least expect it, and never have I ever had an eight month old and a 7 week old at the same time. Yikes!!!! What was I thinking???!!!
A co-worker where I used to work called me "The Crazy Lady with Seven Kids". Now I am that plus 3, and soon it will be plus 4. Double Yikes!!!! Thankfully, I have the whole summer to get the Little Miss settled before Junior arrives.
Life is crazy around here, but I am so thankful to stay at home and be with my kids. Next year I will just have 7 at home during school, but think of that! Just seven. To me that is bliss and freedom -- to most of you that is AAAAAGGGHHHH! :)
For us the thing that helps us keep going through our constant stream of activity, chatter, school etc. is schedules.
Hubby and I get up at 5:30. There is always the desire to curl up for a few more minutes (hours) of sleep, but we are working on discipline. His job affords the choice of when to go to work, but they do like him to be consistent. So he's up at 5:30 to eat at 6:00 and be off to work before 6:30. He likes to be at work by 7 and it's a half-hour drive.
My phone is my alarm, so when I get up I put my phone in the boys' room so they will have an alarm. It's set for about 10 till 6. Consequences for not getting up are going to bed a half hour earlier. Let me tell you this works, even for the one who loves to sleep. He was up as soon as it went off this a.m. Due to the fact that he missed half of one of his favorite shows.
Breakfast is together, per Daddy's request. If they don't get up when we do, they won't be ready for bed when we are - we have older kids whose bedtime is the same as ours now.
6:30 till 7 is dishes; then it's up to the bedrooms for some cleaning time. It's easier to greet parents if my kids are in their rooms. The first baby (Baby A) shows up around 7:30, sometimes even earlier. He's with us until 5:15 or so. The four-year old shows up as close to 8 as possible and stays as long as Baby A. Little Miss shows up just after 8 and stays till 4.
I've been letting the older children start school in their "spots" when their chores are done and when they've done some cleaning in their rooms. My goal is to start after Little Miss' mom leaves. By then we are the middle of Math and correcting that, while they move on to Language/English. More instruction on wrong answers in their assignment books etc. I teach Kindergarten (well, not really), 1st grade, 3rd grade, 5th grade, 7th grade and 8th grade. Plus I have 2 four-year olds, 1 eight month old, and 1 seven week old. It's pretty busy.
We've tried to assign spots for the older ones to do their work. My 8th grader likes the piano room. For an hour and a half, he listens to others practice piano, but other than that it's a fairly quiet room. My 7th grader uses the garage. Daddy has a big desk for his business out there. Actually it's the best desk we own. If he wouldn't get so distracted he would do well out there. Aside from that it's the kitchen table which is super busy, which is why my Kindergartner may be doing Kindergarten again. She reads - sort of, she knows her numbers - sort of. Adding is what she's good at. But she's just gotten missed this year a lot.
At noon is lunch, dishes and then everyone goes to their quiet time spot for some reading or napping, sometimes coloring or even puzzles, but usually reading books. The boys get wiggly and that's fine as long as they are quiet. It's amazing how well this works, though I don't look for a perfectly quiet house. Generally someone asks me something at least once or twice. But it's my way of getting my quiet time with the Lord in.
3:00 school is out and per Daddy's request again (and I love this idea btw), we put all our stuff where it goes and if someone has homework they work on that subject, but there aren't books strewn everywhere. We do clean-up during this hour. If your schoolwork is not finished by 3 - no Wii. This tends to be an incentive for most. We vacuum, and sweep and mop (with a crawler in the house we kind of need to do quick mops on a regular basis). Laundry is kept up during the day by the one who is assigned that for the day.
4 to 5 kids are getting picked up, supper started and general chaos continues to reign.
Supper has been 6:30 or 7:00 because of soccer practice, but we're done with that so we can go back to normal, which means whenever Daddy gets home. :)
8:00 is bedtime for the little ones and 9:00 is ours. Baths and stories are all done in their too, if I'm on track and not behind.
So because of all this craziness, Colossians 3:1-3 has been quite special to me lately. When I'm seeking the things above, I have a calmness and a peace. When I'm focused on how long it's been since I've gone with a minute of noone talking, I'm pulling my hair out - and I'm definitely the Crazy Lady.
Steph
Friday, April 27, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
Seek those things which are above... part 2
How exciting to read my last post and see the places and changes God brought to us that very day! He does all things well. I definitely hope I don't forget too quickly the lessons I've learned this past week. Surely if I learn them well, I won't spend so much time worrying next time.
DH called me the same evening I wrote the last post. He told me that he felt that I wasn't able to handle all the things on my plate and that some should be removed. His first thought was to remove the babysitting. I didn't like that but continued to listen as he expressed concern for the children's schooling. I agreed with him, hadn't I, just hours before, written these exact same things? He hadn't read my blog, so I know that it was God working in our hearts together.
As we continued to talk, I asked about the Christian school at our church. It has never been an option because usually we are tight financially, but I wondered aloud if babysitting would offset that cost. If babysitting would bring in even a bit more than the cost of tuition, then at least my income would not be $0. The more we talked the more we liked that idea better and I liked not needing to tell some parents that I couldn't watch their kids anymore.
We've had a few freaky moments where we forgot that my income isn't part of the budget anymore and started worrying about if it all adds up. But God is seeing us through and I'm excited to see what He is doing in our hearts and in our family.
My week ended with Gracia Burnham speaking at our church Sunday morning. What a joy it was to see her again! I have babysat her children, though that makes me feel old and her husband Martin was the pilot that flew us in and out of the village for awhile. Her words were super encouraging and gave dh and I pause to think about some things she shared. She re-ignited that desire to be in ministry again. We don't know where God is leading us, but are continuing to pray that He would show us if and when and where He wants us to move.
Steph
DH called me the same evening I wrote the last post. He told me that he felt that I wasn't able to handle all the things on my plate and that some should be removed. His first thought was to remove the babysitting. I didn't like that but continued to listen as he expressed concern for the children's schooling. I agreed with him, hadn't I, just hours before, written these exact same things? He hadn't read my blog, so I know that it was God working in our hearts together.
As we continued to talk, I asked about the Christian school at our church. It has never been an option because usually we are tight financially, but I wondered aloud if babysitting would offset that cost. If babysitting would bring in even a bit more than the cost of tuition, then at least my income would not be $0. The more we talked the more we liked that idea better and I liked not needing to tell some parents that I couldn't watch their kids anymore.
We've had a few freaky moments where we forgot that my income isn't part of the budget anymore and started worrying about if it all adds up. But God is seeing us through and I'm excited to see what He is doing in our hearts and in our family.
My week ended with Gracia Burnham speaking at our church Sunday morning. What a joy it was to see her again! I have babysat her children, though that makes me feel old and her husband Martin was the pilot that flew us in and out of the village for awhile. Her words were super encouraging and gave dh and I pause to think about some things she shared. She re-ignited that desire to be in ministry again. We don't know where God is leading us, but are continuing to pray that He would show us if and when and where He wants us to move.
Steph
Monday, April 16, 2012
Seek those things above
Colossians 3:1-3 "Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on the earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God."
I've had a little break from blogging. The in-laws came and we had so much fun with them. I took a break from all things dealing with the computer, even from school. It was very nice to have a break. But I was ready to come back when it was time.
New carpets coming have me cleaning out my closet. While I am doing that I decided to de-clutter a lot of things. Not everything that comes out of the closet has to go back in. So with that in mind, I started to go through my memory box. It holds things that my dh and I have held dear at some point in time and not wanted to let go.
Through this process letters were gone through. I read through my letters to dh while we were dating and his to me. It was fun to go back and remember what I desired at that time and put my focus on what fun it is to be a wife and care for the home. Lots of times I forget. Also amongst those letters were letters from my dad and an aunt and the time was around when my mom passed away. I was so blessed to remember how these two and others as well, carried me through this time in prayer and in letters that were so touching. I pray that I can minister to another in such a way.
But all this reading brought grief as well. I remembered the hurt and pain to go through losing my mother. Also bad weather, decisions about homeschooling and whether or not to take on another baby, all were weighing heavily on my brain. I haven't had time to process all this or to discuss things with dh. I lay in bed wondering if our decision was right. How can I care for others' children and still teach well. I couldn't even focus my mind enough to pray. Do others look down on me? What if they think that I'm being irresponsible? What if...? What if...? What if...? All my learning from Elizabeth George that what if's and if only's are worriers went out the window. I needed sleep but sleep wouldn't come.
Today I needed to read the verses above. Actually they aren't on my schedule for studying Colossians yet, but I needed their reminder today. What matters is that dh and I prayed about homeschooling. We were entrusted by God with our children and this decision is ours. I committed it to the Lord and realized that if we are together on this, either way it will be good for our kids. In our opinions there is nothing wrong with public school, nor is it wrong to homeschool.
As to the other issues, they are still not settled. A tiny baby girl will join our motley crew during the weekdays starting Wednesday. I have plans to make a little corner of our home into a nursery. We still have a girl who occasionally comes for a weekend when her parents are working. God is working in our lives and we need to trust Him. I need to seek Him and come what may trust Him for the outcome. Others have their opinions, and we may do things differently next year, but for this year decisions have been made.
One thing I must say is I have friends who have chosen differently and that's fine with me. They know their family and they know how God is leading them. The thing I find most comforting is when a friend disagrees with a decision and yet supports you and encourages you through it. Obviously we are not talking about sin issues, but preference issues.
And with all that rambling, I will close.
Steph
I've had a little break from blogging. The in-laws came and we had so much fun with them. I took a break from all things dealing with the computer, even from school. It was very nice to have a break. But I was ready to come back when it was time.
New carpets coming have me cleaning out my closet. While I am doing that I decided to de-clutter a lot of things. Not everything that comes out of the closet has to go back in. So with that in mind, I started to go through my memory box. It holds things that my dh and I have held dear at some point in time and not wanted to let go.
Through this process letters were gone through. I read through my letters to dh while we were dating and his to me. It was fun to go back and remember what I desired at that time and put my focus on what fun it is to be a wife and care for the home. Lots of times I forget. Also amongst those letters were letters from my dad and an aunt and the time was around when my mom passed away. I was so blessed to remember how these two and others as well, carried me through this time in prayer and in letters that were so touching. I pray that I can minister to another in such a way.
But all this reading brought grief as well. I remembered the hurt and pain to go through losing my mother. Also bad weather, decisions about homeschooling and whether or not to take on another baby, all were weighing heavily on my brain. I haven't had time to process all this or to discuss things with dh. I lay in bed wondering if our decision was right. How can I care for others' children and still teach well. I couldn't even focus my mind enough to pray. Do others look down on me? What if they think that I'm being irresponsible? What if...? What if...? What if...? All my learning from Elizabeth George that what if's and if only's are worriers went out the window. I needed sleep but sleep wouldn't come.
Today I needed to read the verses above. Actually they aren't on my schedule for studying Colossians yet, but I needed their reminder today. What matters is that dh and I prayed about homeschooling. We were entrusted by God with our children and this decision is ours. I committed it to the Lord and realized that if we are together on this, either way it will be good for our kids. In our opinions there is nothing wrong with public school, nor is it wrong to homeschool.
As to the other issues, they are still not settled. A tiny baby girl will join our motley crew during the weekdays starting Wednesday. I have plans to make a little corner of our home into a nursery. We still have a girl who occasionally comes for a weekend when her parents are working. God is working in our lives and we need to trust Him. I need to seek Him and come what may trust Him for the outcome. Others have their opinions, and we may do things differently next year, but for this year decisions have been made.
One thing I must say is I have friends who have chosen differently and that's fine with me. They know their family and they know how God is leading them. The thing I find most comforting is when a friend disagrees with a decision and yet supports you and encourages you through it. Obviously we are not talking about sin issues, but preference issues.
And with all that rambling, I will close.
Steph
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
FlyLady
I love organization but don't do well maintaining it. Recently during my computer time, I found a blog that mentioned another blog - http://www.flylady.com/.
I started taking the Baby steps there a few weeks ago - well I guess it's been a month. It's been good for me. I always feel like I have way too much to do. But her main point is "I can do ANYTHING for 15 minutes." - even the stuff I hate.
So the first day we shine our sink. We just took a towel and wiped down the faucets and sink at the end of the day. Then she added one more thing - the swish and swipe in the bathroom. So I've done these things every day since I started - well, maybe I've missed a day or two. It sure has helped. DH mentioned the other day that he's never seen the bathroom looking so good.
Of course, because I shine the sink, I can't leave dishes in the sink. We don't have a dishwasher, so there is always a dish or two or TEN left after dishes are done and they've always sat on the counter. Well, her advice is to put a tub under the counter for dishes. Now, to remember that they're there. :)
So my counters look better than ever. Still have to teach the kids to use the tub under the sink. I did have to move my cleaning supplies, but that's o.k. Baby A is crawling now and would have found that sooner or later. :)
Anyway, I feel much better about my house. We set the timer, not always, sometimes we just watch the clock and clean a room for fifteen minutes. Flylady.com always has the current zone that we are working on so I don't even have to remember where to work. She tells me.
My house is cleaner and more picked-up than ever before and just in time too, because we have soccer practice four nights a week for the rest of the month. Some nights it's two kids at two different times, overlapping. But I came home last night to the table set and supper ready and the house looking fairly good for some of the kids being left at home for over two hours.
Setting out our clothes the night before helps too. The 27 Fling Boogie is fun. You should have heard my kids laughing as they did it. You'll have to check out the website to find out what all these things mean. Then there is the 5 minute room rescue. Lots of ways to make cleaning up a little more desirable. Just 15 minutes is nothing.
Now when the laundry is done, I try to run over and fold the clothes while I keep the kids on task and then send them for a break from school to put them away. I always felt that it wasn't fair to them to have them put clothes away more than once a day. But I've changed it around and told them it's a break from their school and they don't seem to mind that at all.
Things are looking better at my house because of this lady.
Steph
I started taking the Baby steps there a few weeks ago - well I guess it's been a month. It's been good for me. I always feel like I have way too much to do. But her main point is "I can do ANYTHING for 15 minutes." - even the stuff I hate.
So the first day we shine our sink. We just took a towel and wiped down the faucets and sink at the end of the day. Then she added one more thing - the swish and swipe in the bathroom. So I've done these things every day since I started - well, maybe I've missed a day or two. It sure has helped. DH mentioned the other day that he's never seen the bathroom looking so good.
Of course, because I shine the sink, I can't leave dishes in the sink. We don't have a dishwasher, so there is always a dish or two or TEN left after dishes are done and they've always sat on the counter. Well, her advice is to put a tub under the counter for dishes. Now, to remember that they're there. :)
So my counters look better than ever. Still have to teach the kids to use the tub under the sink. I did have to move my cleaning supplies, but that's o.k. Baby A is crawling now and would have found that sooner or later. :)
Anyway, I feel much better about my house. We set the timer, not always, sometimes we just watch the clock and clean a room for fifteen minutes. Flylady.com always has the current zone that we are working on so I don't even have to remember where to work. She tells me.
My house is cleaner and more picked-up than ever before and just in time too, because we have soccer practice four nights a week for the rest of the month. Some nights it's two kids at two different times, overlapping. But I came home last night to the table set and supper ready and the house looking fairly good for some of the kids being left at home for over two hours.
Setting out our clothes the night before helps too. The 27 Fling Boogie is fun. You should have heard my kids laughing as they did it. You'll have to check out the website to find out what all these things mean. Then there is the 5 minute room rescue. Lots of ways to make cleaning up a little more desirable. Just 15 minutes is nothing.
Now when the laundry is done, I try to run over and fold the clothes while I keep the kids on task and then send them for a break from school to put them away. I always felt that it wasn't fair to them to have them put clothes away more than once a day. But I've changed it around and told them it's a break from their school and they don't seem to mind that at all.
Things are looking better at my house because of this lady.
Steph
Monday, March 26, 2012
The fence
Last night we were answering some questions about Hebrews. Some of the things were thought provoking to me.
The Hebrews, as a whole, were on the fence. Looking for a life of ease, the temptation was to subject themselves to the Law of Moses, in order to escape persecution. But really when you think about it, this doesn't seem to be a life of ease. As I see it, the Law is much harder than grace. Maybe that's why we like it so much. It satisfies our need to do something in order to earn what has been freely given.
Do I want to stay on the fence? Really for me, it's not about being under the Law of Moses. That would be trying to adopt a whole new lifestyle. My desire is to just stay where I am and just keep doing what I'm doing. No more growth - that's too painful. No more getting to know people - that's too uncomfortable. I'm fine right where I am. I want to be able to whine and pout about things that I don't like. I want to take control and do things my way.
Is that what I want? Because God is saying to me through His Word that on a daily basis I need to be more conformed to the image of His Son. That means I'm always going to be learning, uncomfortable with where I am at, seeing the need for more growth. Eeew, yuck! But what comes with that? Peace that passes all understanding, seeing progress in my life, not yelling at my kids as much or at all. Oh, well, now that - that is desirable to me.
So while it may be difficult, I choose God's way. I want to choose it all the time. So what does the author to the Hebrews tell us the first step is? (Heb. 6:1) Leave the elementary principles. Hello!!!! Move past Kindergarten, folks! Those are the building blocks, the foundation. Start working on the structure! So I need to dig deeper and longer in the Word of God. I need to seek ways to understand these truths more.
Yes, I have distractions. I need to teach my distractions that there are times that Mommy needs to focus on God's Word. I need to look for opportunities to study His Word.
Let's pursue knowing Christ better each day.
Steph
The Hebrews, as a whole, were on the fence. Looking for a life of ease, the temptation was to subject themselves to the Law of Moses, in order to escape persecution. But really when you think about it, this doesn't seem to be a life of ease. As I see it, the Law is much harder than grace. Maybe that's why we like it so much. It satisfies our need to do something in order to earn what has been freely given.
Do I want to stay on the fence? Really for me, it's not about being under the Law of Moses. That would be trying to adopt a whole new lifestyle. My desire is to just stay where I am and just keep doing what I'm doing. No more growth - that's too painful. No more getting to know people - that's too uncomfortable. I'm fine right where I am. I want to be able to whine and pout about things that I don't like. I want to take control and do things my way.
Is that what I want? Because God is saying to me through His Word that on a daily basis I need to be more conformed to the image of His Son. That means I'm always going to be learning, uncomfortable with where I am at, seeing the need for more growth. Eeew, yuck! But what comes with that? Peace that passes all understanding, seeing progress in my life, not yelling at my kids as much or at all. Oh, well, now that - that is desirable to me.
So while it may be difficult, I choose God's way. I want to choose it all the time. So what does the author to the Hebrews tell us the first step is? (Heb. 6:1) Leave the elementary principles. Hello!!!! Move past Kindergarten, folks! Those are the building blocks, the foundation. Start working on the structure! So I need to dig deeper and longer in the Word of God. I need to seek ways to understand these truths more.
Yes, I have distractions. I need to teach my distractions that there are times that Mommy needs to focus on God's Word. I need to look for opportunities to study His Word.
Let's pursue knowing Christ better each day.
Steph
Friday, March 23, 2012
My story - part 6 Indonesia
In 2000, we took off for Indonesia. Another couple arrived around the same time as we did and we found a house to live in together to study language. It was a crazy house for us to rent as it had porches and hanging walkways and we, between us, had three kids and they were all 3 and under.
After language study, we headed to Jakarta, to stand in for the guest home host and hostess. We enjoyed the church there and had Bible studies with some of the believers there. We were there for about 9 months. Our third son, Waterman, was born there.
We then moved to the island of Borneo. We continued our language study some as we looked around for a place we could serve. We didn't do a lot of looking, but pursued going back to the same village where Jeff had grown up. God seemed to be leading us in that direction.
I had three boys under 3 years old, and was trying to learn the language. My husband had a head start because he still remembered the language. So there was a girl, who came to live with us and she helped me with the boys and the housework so I could study.
In May of 2001, we moved in to the house in the tribal location where Jeff had grown up, and even to the house he'd lived in as a child. The girl, who had moved in with us, moved along with us. What a blessing it was to have her with us! She was from this tribal area, but not the village we were in. She helped e with language even before we moved.
It seemed like living in paradise with a banana grove right outside our office window and red hibiscus flowers in the background. A beautiful river flowed right outside our house. When it wasn't raining and flooded, the river was clear and shallow - perfect for three little boys to cool off in.
Because our river flooded during heavy rains, we decided to build a fence to keep our children from wandering to the river. The next day we were getting ready to have company for supper. Jeff was working on a swing set out in the back yard. Since the girl, L-, and I were busy with supper, we sent all three boys outside to watch Daddy. This was Waterman's first time playing outside as he was just walking well. Daddy and I thought it would be fine for him to be out there, but L- didn't know about it.
L- came and said, "Since the river is flooded, I think I won't take the boys to the river with me while I bathe. I'll just bathe them up here at the house." Bathing in the village usually took place in the river. The girls have tube cloths that cover them like a dress, and they are super talented at getting bathed in those things. I, on the otherhand, never learned well how to do it.
I thought that would be fine, and I would take mine at the house as well, because I was busy with supper, etc. L- finished up with her bath and then got ready. When she was done she came in and told me she'd get the boys and bathe them.
She went outside and grabbed the boys and brought them in and bathed Sharpie and Jones. Problem was she didn't even know Waterman was out there and didn't see him when she went to bring in the boys. So she came to get Waterman and that was the first we realized there was a problem.
Waterman was nowhere in sight and at 17 months he wasn't talking much yet, so calling for him wasn't working. I ran to the fence to check the gates. L- stayed with the boys. Daddy ran the other way toward a fish pond. The fence's gates were shut. So I turned toward where my husband was going when he called, "He's in the fish pond."
I rounded the corner just in time to see him pulling my baby out of the water. His skin looked like a porcelain doll. He wasn't breathing. I ran to go get help. Thankfully, our company was a trained nurse and her husband who had come to visit. But they were quite far away. As I ran I passed a house that was on the way, these people were co-workers of ours, so I called to them that Waterman had fallen into a pond and wasn't breathing and kept running.
When I arrived at our Western co-workers house, where the nurse was staying, I was out of breath. We all came running back to help my husband do CPR. When we got back there was a crowd of people around my husband. They were telling him to move the baby to the porch where it was clean and not to push so hard - "You might break a bone." My dear husband (dh) just kept working where he was. He didn't figure moving him was as important as getting him to breathe, and that a broken bone was better than death.
I stayed away from where they were working because I didn't want to get in the way. Or maybe it was because I was too afraid to watch my baby die. We were all sure he was dead. We don't know how long he wasn't breathing - I had time to cross the river twice to get our Western co-workers for help, and then we all crossed that same river two times and still it seemed forever.
Testimonies shared later told us that at different times someone was giving up while another was renewed with hope. They took turns doing CPR. There was no time to find a heartbeat, breathing was the goal. I was away from them praying out loud in the tribal language that God would do His will in Waterman's life.
It's amazing how much can go through your mind in a short time, but my mind was reeling with all the different outcomes that could happen and I knew that I couldn't figure out what was best, so I was o.k. with God choosing. My dh was reminded of the fact that I was expecting our fourth, and was sure that Waterman was gone. So he was thinking that God had provided another not to replace Waterman, but to help us with our grief.
After awhile, one of co-workers noticed his mouth twitch. Dh had seen it too and thought it was just the end. Waterman started breathing soon after and we took him to the porch and started to warm blankets for him to warm him up.
During this time, Sharpie was trying to see his little brother and stood up on the bench. He fell off and split his forehead open on the swing dh had been making when all this happened. So I picked him up and laid him on the kitchen table. I knew my baby would be fine with someone else holding him as he was still in a coma, but my little boy needed his mama. Sharpie was just four, and Jones was three.
Someone said, "Hey this is like Job, grab the other kid before something happens to him." So Jones was quickly scooped up and snuggled safely in someone's arms.
We watched Waterman carefully. It was too late to call the plane, a little six seater that could take us to the Baptist hospital. It was a half hour to come from town and then an hour to the hospital. This was evening and the plane would make it in, but not be able to leave until morning. We called the hospital on the radio and they told us that they wouldn't be able to do anything anyway. They would just be able to watch for fever. So we watched. He was in a coma for another 8 hours.
When he came out of the coma I remember thinking that it was like a newborn looking at his mama for the first time - just eyes moving and no head movement. And slowly he started saying the words that he'd been saying as he looked at a farm book - duck, cow etc.
But his body wasn't keeping up with his brain. His extremeties weren't getting the messages. He held his head cocked to one side and his arms and legs would stop working with no warning. So we tried to hold him, but for a little boy who's just learned to walk this was extremely frustrating.
Around one, the next afternoon, he started a fever. We quickly called the plane. The weather was looking bad, but the pilot said he and the new guy would come in anyway. We hurried to get ready. Sharpie and Jones would stay with our co-workers who were like Grandpa and Grandma to them. This couple was there as well as their daughter, who was like an aunt to the boys.
We hopped into the plane, and took off as soon as we could. The weather was looking bad and a storm was coming up, but the pilot wanted to make sure that Waterman made it to the hospital. I remember riding in the plane with lightning all around praying that God would protect us and little Waterman was just smiling at me and playing. I remember thinking, "Did we really need to go through this storm to get you to the hospital? You look fine to me."
He recovered, as far as I can tell completely. A few years later, a person who had taken training in early childhood development was caring for him for a week with a bunch of toddlers, while we parents were in a conference. I asked her about it and she said she couldn't tell at all
A month later I miscarried. It was very difficult, but one thing that helped me was thinking of Waterman's accident and knowing that I already had so much time invested in him. I felt that it would be hard to lose him than the little one that I'd only known about for a month. Not saying that it was easy, but just that I think God helped me to look at it that way so that it wouldn't be unbearable.
We were sick a lot during that time. I think it was just being newbies and not being used to the germs and such that were there. My husband and Sharpie also had real problems with malaria and were on meds for that quite a bit In fact I remember once that they both had it and then six weeks later they had it again.
It's pretty scary having your little one screaming about spiders on the wall (hallucinations) because of the medicine that helps him get over malaria. Two were even in the hospital with potential cerebral malaria, which is even scarier too.
Around the beginning of 2003, I was expecting again. So we took a trip to the Baptist hospital to see how things were going. We found out that I was expecting a girl, but that her brain was not forming properly. She had "water on the brain". The hospital was not prepared to handle this so it was either Singapore or America. We chose America because our boys could stay with Grandpa and Grandma. I wanted dh to be with me through what looked like it would be a hard experience.
Dh went with me to the first doctor appointment in the US. When they did the ultrasound, neither of us saw what we had seen at the Baptist hospital. The brain looked symmetrical to us and seemed to be fine. The doctor told us exactly the same thing. Our little Bugaboo was born in Wisconsin. At this point everyone in our family had been born in a different state or country.
We are so thankful to God for our two miracles. And now you know why I call him Waterman.
After language study, we headed to Jakarta, to stand in for the guest home host and hostess. We enjoyed the church there and had Bible studies with some of the believers there. We were there for about 9 months. Our third son, Waterman, was born there.
We then moved to the island of Borneo. We continued our language study some as we looked around for a place we could serve. We didn't do a lot of looking, but pursued going back to the same village where Jeff had grown up. God seemed to be leading us in that direction.
I had three boys under 3 years old, and was trying to learn the language. My husband had a head start because he still remembered the language. So there was a girl, who came to live with us and she helped me with the boys and the housework so I could study.
In May of 2001, we moved in to the house in the tribal location where Jeff had grown up, and even to the house he'd lived in as a child. The girl, who had moved in with us, moved along with us. What a blessing it was to have her with us! She was from this tribal area, but not the village we were in. She helped e with language even before we moved.
It seemed like living in paradise with a banana grove right outside our office window and red hibiscus flowers in the background. A beautiful river flowed right outside our house. When it wasn't raining and flooded, the river was clear and shallow - perfect for three little boys to cool off in.
Because our river flooded during heavy rains, we decided to build a fence to keep our children from wandering to the river. The next day we were getting ready to have company for supper. Jeff was working on a swing set out in the back yard. Since the girl, L-, and I were busy with supper, we sent all three boys outside to watch Daddy. This was Waterman's first time playing outside as he was just walking well. Daddy and I thought it would be fine for him to be out there, but L- didn't know about it.
L- came and said, "Since the river is flooded, I think I won't take the boys to the river with me while I bathe. I'll just bathe them up here at the house." Bathing in the village usually took place in the river. The girls have tube cloths that cover them like a dress, and they are super talented at getting bathed in those things. I, on the otherhand, never learned well how to do it.
I thought that would be fine, and I would take mine at the house as well, because I was busy with supper, etc. L- finished up with her bath and then got ready. When she was done she came in and told me she'd get the boys and bathe them.
She went outside and grabbed the boys and brought them in and bathed Sharpie and Jones. Problem was she didn't even know Waterman was out there and didn't see him when she went to bring in the boys. So she came to get Waterman and that was the first we realized there was a problem.
Waterman was nowhere in sight and at 17 months he wasn't talking much yet, so calling for him wasn't working. I ran to the fence to check the gates. L- stayed with the boys. Daddy ran the other way toward a fish pond. The fence's gates were shut. So I turned toward where my husband was going when he called, "He's in the fish pond."
I rounded the corner just in time to see him pulling my baby out of the water. His skin looked like a porcelain doll. He wasn't breathing. I ran to go get help. Thankfully, our company was a trained nurse and her husband who had come to visit. But they were quite far away. As I ran I passed a house that was on the way, these people were co-workers of ours, so I called to them that Waterman had fallen into a pond and wasn't breathing and kept running.
When I arrived at our Western co-workers house, where the nurse was staying, I was out of breath. We all came running back to help my husband do CPR. When we got back there was a crowd of people around my husband. They were telling him to move the baby to the porch where it was clean and not to push so hard - "You might break a bone." My dear husband (dh) just kept working where he was. He didn't figure moving him was as important as getting him to breathe, and that a broken bone was better than death.
I stayed away from where they were working because I didn't want to get in the way. Or maybe it was because I was too afraid to watch my baby die. We were all sure he was dead. We don't know how long he wasn't breathing - I had time to cross the river twice to get our Western co-workers for help, and then we all crossed that same river two times and still it seemed forever.
Testimonies shared later told us that at different times someone was giving up while another was renewed with hope. They took turns doing CPR. There was no time to find a heartbeat, breathing was the goal. I was away from them praying out loud in the tribal language that God would do His will in Waterman's life.
It's amazing how much can go through your mind in a short time, but my mind was reeling with all the different outcomes that could happen and I knew that I couldn't figure out what was best, so I was o.k. with God choosing. My dh was reminded of the fact that I was expecting our fourth, and was sure that Waterman was gone. So he was thinking that God had provided another not to replace Waterman, but to help us with our grief.
After awhile, one of co-workers noticed his mouth twitch. Dh had seen it too and thought it was just the end. Waterman started breathing soon after and we took him to the porch and started to warm blankets for him to warm him up.
During this time, Sharpie was trying to see his little brother and stood up on the bench. He fell off and split his forehead open on the swing dh had been making when all this happened. So I picked him up and laid him on the kitchen table. I knew my baby would be fine with someone else holding him as he was still in a coma, but my little boy needed his mama. Sharpie was just four, and Jones was three.
Someone said, "Hey this is like Job, grab the other kid before something happens to him." So Jones was quickly scooped up and snuggled safely in someone's arms.
We watched Waterman carefully. It was too late to call the plane, a little six seater that could take us to the Baptist hospital. It was a half hour to come from town and then an hour to the hospital. This was evening and the plane would make it in, but not be able to leave until morning. We called the hospital on the radio and they told us that they wouldn't be able to do anything anyway. They would just be able to watch for fever. So we watched. He was in a coma for another 8 hours.
When he came out of the coma I remember thinking that it was like a newborn looking at his mama for the first time - just eyes moving and no head movement. And slowly he started saying the words that he'd been saying as he looked at a farm book - duck, cow etc.
But his body wasn't keeping up with his brain. His extremeties weren't getting the messages. He held his head cocked to one side and his arms and legs would stop working with no warning. So we tried to hold him, but for a little boy who's just learned to walk this was extremely frustrating.
Around one, the next afternoon, he started a fever. We quickly called the plane. The weather was looking bad, but the pilot said he and the new guy would come in anyway. We hurried to get ready. Sharpie and Jones would stay with our co-workers who were like Grandpa and Grandma to them. This couple was there as well as their daughter, who was like an aunt to the boys.
We hopped into the plane, and took off as soon as we could. The weather was looking bad and a storm was coming up, but the pilot wanted to make sure that Waterman made it to the hospital. I remember riding in the plane with lightning all around praying that God would protect us and little Waterman was just smiling at me and playing. I remember thinking, "Did we really need to go through this storm to get you to the hospital? You look fine to me."
He recovered, as far as I can tell completely. A few years later, a person who had taken training in early childhood development was caring for him for a week with a bunch of toddlers, while we parents were in a conference. I asked her about it and she said she couldn't tell at all
A month later I miscarried. It was very difficult, but one thing that helped me was thinking of Waterman's accident and knowing that I already had so much time invested in him. I felt that it would be hard to lose him than the little one that I'd only known about for a month. Not saying that it was easy, but just that I think God helped me to look at it that way so that it wouldn't be unbearable.
We were sick a lot during that time. I think it was just being newbies and not being used to the germs and such that were there. My husband and Sharpie also had real problems with malaria and were on meds for that quite a bit In fact I remember once that they both had it and then six weeks later they had it again.
It's pretty scary having your little one screaming about spiders on the wall (hallucinations) because of the medicine that helps him get over malaria. Two were even in the hospital with potential cerebral malaria, which is even scarier too.
Around the beginning of 2003, I was expecting again. So we took a trip to the Baptist hospital to see how things were going. We found out that I was expecting a girl, but that her brain was not forming properly. She had "water on the brain". The hospital was not prepared to handle this so it was either Singapore or America. We chose America because our boys could stay with Grandpa and Grandma. I wanted dh to be with me through what looked like it would be a hard experience.
Dh went with me to the first doctor appointment in the US. When they did the ultrasound, neither of us saw what we had seen at the Baptist hospital. The brain looked symmetrical to us and seemed to be fine. The doctor told us exactly the same thing. Our little Bugaboo was born in Wisconsin. At this point everyone in our family had been born in a different state or country.
We are so thankful to God for our two miracles. And now you know why I call him Waterman.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Surrender
I haven't finished my story yet - not sure I'm ready to. The time in Indonesia was filled with bittersweet memories. I would say that will be my toughest story to write, and I will, but not today.
I want to write about surrender. A friend recently returned a book I'd forgotten about called "Dangerous Surrender" by Kay Warren. I started reading in it and it seems to be touching something in my life that is needing to be addressed.
Awhile back I asked a friend to do some vinyl lettering for me. The words I wanted in my kitchen were "Spend yourself and your light will shine in the darkness." I know I've written about it before but I'm not sure if it was in this blog or not. The verse is in Isaiah 58:10, and I've left out some parts so it fits where I want it. The words still remind me of the full content of the verse.
Isaiah 58:10 says, " and if you spend yourselves on behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday."
Actually all the verses around it are so encouraging. What am I saying? It's God's Word, so of course it is. But especially to this whole idea of surrender.
I get the idea of "Go get exhausted on behalf of the needy." OOPS! Better stop complaining at home when there are things to do, because it should start there. And when we complain about all that we need to do in front of the kids, it breeds complaining hearts and whiny attitudes. Not fun.
To add to the thoughts on surrender, a friend is going through some of the things we went through after leaving missions, and a puppy was hit by a car last night and suffered for what seemed a long hour before dying.
I'm not sure I can explain how this all fits together. The questions running through my mind are: "Is my heart soft and compassionate to those around me or have I hardened it to the pain of life?" "Is there a time to buck up and shake it off and go through it?" My fears are if I allow myself to succumb to tears there won't be an end, and yet I want to be moved with compassion. Can I have both?
My desire is to surrender to God's will for my life, even if it means that I'll never have a minute to myself, or that I'll fall into bed exhausted because I worked almost until bedtime. But at the same time, I'm thinking, "What if it hurts?" I already know the answer to that one. It will!!! But the rewards will be beyond imaginations so it's worth it.
Do I really want to get involved? Staying in my home would be so much easier. Not allowing the hurt of others or my own to enter my heart seems better and more desirable. Am I expressing that compassion to my children or am I saying, "Oh, don't see any blood, you must be fine."
But when they see their puppy lying on the back porch and their eyes fill up with tears, there is no blood to be seen. But they need someone to love them through it. I don't want to tell them to quit crying and shake it off. It really does hurt and pain is part of life.
I do want them to see that life for that puppy would be awful. Even if we could will her to live somehow for our own sakes, it would be selfish on our parts. That death was better for her than suffering in order for us to be happy.
There is growth I think in allowing ourselves and others to process what happens. When the boys first brought her in, I saw that she was badly hurt. Her hip was broken and the leg too. She was hardly moaning and just laying there. At that point the kids didn't not want her to be put to sleep. Daddy wasn't home yet, so I called him. He asked us to wait until he got home.
As we checked on her and I saw the signs of death, the kids and I talked about what was better for Angel. We didn't even know if she was paralyzed or not. It was a very stressful evening, but we learned a few things. It's better to keep moving than to sit and think - whether it's cleaning or even just sitting next to Angel. We learned that sometimes God says no when we ask for something.
So how can I be the person that God wants me to be, someone who's compassionate and yet not a basket case who has to have a box of kleenex around all the time? I think of the words "Weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice." That's what I'm striving toward. But I don't know the answers to all of my questions. I think I'm going to keep learning on this one.
Steph
I want to write about surrender. A friend recently returned a book I'd forgotten about called "Dangerous Surrender" by Kay Warren. I started reading in it and it seems to be touching something in my life that is needing to be addressed.
Awhile back I asked a friend to do some vinyl lettering for me. The words I wanted in my kitchen were "Spend yourself and your light will shine in the darkness." I know I've written about it before but I'm not sure if it was in this blog or not. The verse is in Isaiah 58:10, and I've left out some parts so it fits where I want it. The words still remind me of the full content of the verse.
 |
Actually all the verses around it are so encouraging. What am I saying? It's God's Word, so of course it is. But especially to this whole idea of surrender.
I get the idea of "Go get exhausted on behalf of the needy." OOPS! Better stop complaining at home when there are things to do, because it should start there. And when we complain about all that we need to do in front of the kids, it breeds complaining hearts and whiny attitudes. Not fun.
To add to the thoughts on surrender, a friend is going through some of the things we went through after leaving missions, and a puppy was hit by a car last night and suffered for what seemed a long hour before dying.
I'm not sure I can explain how this all fits together. The questions running through my mind are: "Is my heart soft and compassionate to those around me or have I hardened it to the pain of life?" "Is there a time to buck up and shake it off and go through it?" My fears are if I allow myself to succumb to tears there won't be an end, and yet I want to be moved with compassion. Can I have both?
My desire is to surrender to God's will for my life, even if it means that I'll never have a minute to myself, or that I'll fall into bed exhausted because I worked almost until bedtime. But at the same time, I'm thinking, "What if it hurts?" I already know the answer to that one. It will!!! But the rewards will be beyond imaginations so it's worth it.
Do I really want to get involved? Staying in my home would be so much easier. Not allowing the hurt of others or my own to enter my heart seems better and more desirable. Am I expressing that compassion to my children or am I saying, "Oh, don't see any blood, you must be fine."
But when they see their puppy lying on the back porch and their eyes fill up with tears, there is no blood to be seen. But they need someone to love them through it. I don't want to tell them to quit crying and shake it off. It really does hurt and pain is part of life.
I do want them to see that life for that puppy would be awful. Even if we could will her to live somehow for our own sakes, it would be selfish on our parts. That death was better for her than suffering in order for us to be happy.
There is growth I think in allowing ourselves and others to process what happens. When the boys first brought her in, I saw that she was badly hurt. Her hip was broken and the leg too. She was hardly moaning and just laying there. At that point the kids didn't not want her to be put to sleep. Daddy wasn't home yet, so I called him. He asked us to wait until he got home.
As we checked on her and I saw the signs of death, the kids and I talked about what was better for Angel. We didn't even know if she was paralyzed or not. It was a very stressful evening, but we learned a few things. It's better to keep moving than to sit and think - whether it's cleaning or even just sitting next to Angel. We learned that sometimes God says no when we ask for something.
So how can I be the person that God wants me to be, someone who's compassionate and yet not a basket case who has to have a box of kleenex around all the time? I think of the words "Weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice." That's what I'm striving toward. But I don't know the answers to all of my questions. I think I'm going to keep learning on this one.
Steph
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