Living the abundant life

John 10:10  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.

 I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.



Have you ever felt "stuck"?  I told my husband just last night that I feel stuck.  He knew what I meant.  I think he's been feeling it too.  "Stuck" to me means eat, sleep, work - and that's about it.  Too tired to enjoy anything, we stumble out of bed when the alarm goes off, eat breakfast with our coffee IV drip so that our eyes slowly open and then, we head off to work.  We get home, stumble through supper, and then drop into bed the minute that we can justify it - like probably when the babies get to bed. 

For me, it's a bit different.  Just change the part where it says "head off to work" and insert, "start work at home".  No, I do not sit around with my feet up.  You may see my name on Facebook all day, but not because I'm sitting there waiting for someone to write something brilliant. Usually on any given day, I'm:

• trying to follow FLYlady's plan - which is working super well by the way,
• keeping track of who's doing what subject and what items they are missing yet for a finished day of school,
• teaching babies that throwing metal cars is not a good idea especially when a littler baby is sitting on the floor minding her own business
• continuously putting the slip covers back on the couches (if anyone has an idea of how to keep them on, please let me know)
• paying bills and keeping track of the budget
• making sure rooms are clean and piano is done
• making supper and making sure there is enough leftovers to send something decent with hubby and school kids for lunch the next day (no, DD, Ramen is not a sufficient lunch)

So, how do we go through life, abundantly?  I think the place to start is understanding who we are in Christ.  Obviously, some may need to start farther back. See my post on Making the Lord a priority in your life.

http://keepinguphomeinabusyworld.blogspot.com/2012_02_01_archive.html 

So who are we?  If we are believers, then we have a home in heaven guaranteed.  No, ifs, ands, or buts.  We don't have to do anything to make sure we get it, just believe.  I think that should be the main thing that brings us abundant life.  Hey, most people think that you have to keep doing stuff to get it. 

• Make sure you check church on your list every Sunday or more for extra brownie points. 
• Don't say any swear words.
• Stay true to your spouse
• Basically, the ten commandments in general.

So, I'm wondering,  Are you doing these things so you can attain heaven, because if you are then it's by your works that you're going to heaven and Titus 3:5 tells us that it's not by works of righteousness that we have done.  

It's not that we don't need to do stuff and can sit around, we should be doing these things because we want to live righteously in this world, as it says in Titus.
 Titus 2:12  Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;
also in Philippians.

Philippians2:14-15  "Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world,"

As my husband shared with me last night, beyond these things, living the abundant life does NOT mean going out and buying things.  We would be broke all too quickly and then no more abundant life.  No, I think it means being content, as we see in Hebrews

Hebrews 13:5 "Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, "I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU,"

He'll never leave us nor forsake us, that should mean everything to us.  Got any more ideas of how to live the abundant life.  I'm still thinking on it, and want to come up with more ideas.  Another thing a pastor I listen to on-line said (btw, it's his fault I'm writing about this) is "Making the most of it."  Are you making the most of your life, where you are, whether it's where you wanted to be or not?  Cause dh and I would be on the other side of the world in a heartbeat if we could be where we want to be, but we're not and now we need to see what God has for us HERE, for now.  We can still hope, but we need to LIVE now, and not wait until we are where we want to be.

Making the most of it,

Steph

School beginnings

On the first day of school around town, I thought I'd write about some things I've been pondering lately. 

Three of our children are going to school at the Christian Academy in a nearby town, at our church.  They don't start till Monday.  I'm so thankful for the opportunity to send them.  Last year was hurried and busy with three little ones and six grades of school.  At the end of the year we bumped it up to four little ones.   I was frazzled most of the time and my kindergartener didn't get much time with me. 

For the older three ( the three younger grades are going away), I gave them the opportunity to pick a start date.  The mandatory start date was when the littler ones went to school.  They would have to keep up with the academy their siblings attend, as it uses the same curriculum we do.  Last week I bumped it up to this past Monday as grandparents are coming the end of September and I don't want to teach school that week, nor do I want them to be required to do school.

Two of my boys decided to start mid-July and they are currently on lesson 18 in their year.  One decided to wait until the mandatory start date.  I gave them the choice, but when it came down to it, it was very hard for me to hold my tongue.  I wanted to praise the first two for being diligent and working ahead, but worse than that, I wanted to call my other son lazy for waiting until he had to start. 

I had to work through this.  If I give them the decision, I need not knock them down because they choose the option I don't want them to choose.  If I don't want them to have the choice then I shouldn't give them the choice.  So I made some comments I shouldn't have, but then as I thought about it, I realized I should let him choose. 

This is new ground for me.  Usually I don't give my little ones options like, you can do this or this.  I do, during playtime, but those times I really don't care what they choose.  When it comes to school if some are started I'd rather they all be started.  So one chose to do what I didn't want him to do, but it was an option I gave him. 

As they grow up, I want to be the parent who allows my child to make a decision without condemnation from his mother.    I want to help him, but not force him.  I want to help him weigh his options without revealing my hand as it were.  I may let him know what direction I think would be best, if there is such a thing, but leave it all with him.  I don't want him thinking "Mom will be mad if I do such-and-such or if I don't do this or that." 

I had a wonderful example of parents in this regard.  I distinctly remember one situation where I was walking a rather dangerous path and I knew what they thought.  But I could talk with them about the situation and freely share my heart wth them because they did not condemn me.  I am very sure they were scared to death, but they didn't let that fear consume them.  I pray I can closely mirror their hearts in this.  I want to be that kind of parent.

What kind of parent do you want to be?  What are your goals in this area?  As your children grow how do you think it will change?  or will it change?

Steph

Meal schedules

Have you ever had trouble find a meal schedule that works for you?  I have desired through most of my married years to have a meal schedule and to follow it.  To be able to prepare for a month and have the things I need for what I'm planning on making - wow that would be wonderful. 

Cooking has several problems for me. 

The first is what should I make.  I hate that question and it doesn't help to ask anyone else in the family.  Their answers are usually "I dunno." or something that is completely out of the question at the point and time I'm asking it.  Such as lasagne and it's 5:30.  Seems to me that I have to decide ALL the time, so if I, on occasion, ask someone else what we should have, I feel they should at least take a turn with this daunting task.

The second problem is after I do decide what I'm making.  Usually, it's "Oh, can't make it, don't have the ingredients."  So what I need is a plan. 

I'm very good at planning.  I may have said that somewhere in here before.  My problem: executing said plan.  Not very good at that at all.  So what's the good of a plan, if I don't use it.  Aha, but if the first plan doesn't work, then I can make a new one.  And that will be fun.  Yep, I do like planning, just not the consistency of continuing to do it.

So, I found something good on Pinterest.  Generally, I don't spend a lot of time on Pinterest.  It's not as addicting for me as others I guess.  I like going and looking at things for a bit, but it doesn't have a hold on me, like say, Facebook.

I found a site that had a menu planner that is something like I've never seen before.  It's a magnetic calendar, with slips of cardstock that have dinner ideas on it.  (I now need one for breakfasts. )  The squares with the meals go into a box with a magnet on the back on the fridge.  There are tiny little magnets to put the dates up on the calendar, but you could definitely just write them in with an erasable marker. 

Another helpful thing is that the meals are color-coded, so that by looking at the color you automatically know that it's a Mexican dish, or a chicken dish.  Also there are little hooks on the bottom to hang cards in a matching color with the recipe on them.

Here's the solution to problem #1.  At the end of the month, sit down with the family and lay the squares on the table.  In our family there are 9, but usually 8 are doing this job as Daddy is at work.  (I really want to make this something we do when he's home though, so he can have some of his favorite meals.)  Everyone picks a certain number of cards and I usually tell them that they have to have all different colors.  So with 9 of us, everyone picks 3 and then a few of us would pick 4. 

Next, we put them on the magnetic calendar with our little jewel magnets that we had fun making awhile back. 

The nice thing is we can switch them around.  If we do our shopping monthly (the non-perishables), then we should have most of what we need for switching things around a bit.  I just need more cupboard space to hold food for a month.   Have to talk with my dh about that.   :)

So this solves problem two.  If we know what we're having we can make it, because we'll have shopped for it.  The kids like choosing the meals and this way, I'm not the only one. 

If you want to see a pic, you can look on Pinterest and search for menu board planner. Or go to Robin's Menu Board at sugardoodle.net.  It was fun for me to make.  I still don't have all the recipes that I'd like there, but slowly I hope to acquire more. 

Hope you have fun with thinking about this and maybe making your own menu planner.
Steph

The Perfect Job

Have you ever dreaded Monday morning?  Stupid question?  Maybe.  Ever since our trip to Michigan, I've been dreaming of being a stay-at-home-mom.  Yes, I know that I'm home every day and all day.  I'm very aware of that.  But Monday thru Friday other little ones come into my home and I'm on alert all day to make sure nothing happens to them and that they are cared for well.  I've been spiralling downward in this thought process and even trying to figure out how I can not work at home in this way.  It's been getting worse and worse.

One of the mothers was talking with me yesterday and sharing about being pregnant etc. Come to find out (horror of horrors) neither of us really enjoyed being pregnant even though we weren't super ill.  Also I was relating my panic attacks pre-delivery and the fact that people would tell me, "Oh this is your fourth.  It'll be a breeze."  I told her that my thought was "I would love to have more kids, just drop them on my doorstep." 

"Oh," she replied, "well then this job is perfect for you."  I shook my head, "I don't really like this job."  The look of shock surprised me.  I think most people think I adore babies and the care of them, and that all I want to do is sit and play with them.  I don't and I'm not that person.  I rarely spend time to play with my kids, they have each other for that, right?  I mean why else did I have so many? 

I prefer to be left alone and don't bother me with your problems. That is super selfish, but some days it's totally reality. 

I'm really working on that.  While we were watching a movie last night, I stopped to look at my little ones and nuzzle the baby (he's four) in the neck.  He giggled and it did my heart good.  I reached over and touched my little girl's face.  She smiled and looked over at me.  I said, "I love you." She said, "I know."  Does she really?  I mean I say it often but does she know? 

So after the mom left, I spent some time thinking about what if I had that perfect job.  I'd been thinking using my secretary skills would be more fun, or even cleaning like I used to.  Ah, then I would be happy.  I certainly do remember those days and I did NOT like Mondays anymore than I do now. 

So what don't I like about what I'm doing now.  Hmm, let's see.  Radar being on high all day from 8 to 5.  Now, as I think about it why is it a bad thing?  The mom told me that she wouldn't want me to treat her child any differently than I do my own, but if my radar is up when I have other kids (and I think it should be)  should it not be up when it's just my own?  Maybe not to the same degree - I don't have an almost one-year old who is walking in my home, but somewhat.  I should be looking for opportunities to teach my children how to behave properly with one another.

Another thing is always being on the look out for a scrap of paper or popcorn on the floor.  One year olds love putting things in their mouths.    And that's bad because???  Yes, it is harder, but we all love having things picked up and neat. 

The schedule that's required to make sure chores get done and consistency that comes with that?  Yeah, that discipline is something that I desire in my own life and in my children's lives. 

So as I thought about my conversation with her, I also went back to why I'm doing this job.  So that I could stay home with my kids.  Yep.  Another good thing.  Now, I'm realizing that this IS the perfect job, and it's not out there somewhere just waiting for me.  It's here in my house caring for others' children because then I do a better job caring for my own.  Not because I love children and adore them and love spending time with them, but because this is what God has called me to do today.  He's called me to a position that brings my selfishness before my eyes on a daily basis almost.  And yes, despite how much I dislike having it brought up, I want that self eradicated. 

The grass is NOT greener on the other side.  Because when you get to the other side, this grass will be greener. 

Hope that wasn't too candid for you, just some things I'm working through.  I think maybe I'll be more ready for Mondays for awhile, (oh, I don't know about excited :), but ready).  That is, until I forget.  But hopefully, my forgetter won't work for awhile.

Because His ways are higher,
Steph

Room inspection! Attention!!!!

How do you help your children learn to keep their rooms clean, or do you?  I believe there are no wrong answers to this questions, except maybe, "I don't know.  I haven't thought about it."

In our house, I am on the fence as it were.  I could go with the thought of, "It's their room, they should be allowed to keep it how they want to."  I could also go with the idea that they learn to care for things if I teach them and expect a certain standard. 

Just last week, in an effort to "de-clutter" as FLYlady says, we pulled everything out of their rooms (or most everything) and put it back neatly.  I sorted for them and they only had to bring it downstairs so I could do so. 

So this week, I'd like to see them maintain.  Oh, and back to the question before, the reason I do have an opinion about what should happen in our house, is because dh does.  So we're gonna go with that.   Call it submission if you like.  Yes, it is, actually.  I will submit to his leadership.  How easy is that when I'm sitting on the fence anyway.  It's a real problem for me when I take a clear stand on the OTHER side of the camp.  My life-long goal in my relationship to my husband.  Anyway.....that's a TOTALLY different topic. ;)

So this week, while mothers are dropping off babies, my goal is to have my kids up in their rooms working on them.  If we're running behind, then we'll set the next available time for them to do this.  Around 8:30 or whenever they come and claim their room is clean, I go up to their room and pick up everything I find that is not in it's place or neat.  Obviously, they are the ones who've helped with these decisions.  Toys should not be stacked on books, and dirty clothes should not be behind the dresser.  These things, we (and they do too) know. 

The laundry goes in the laundry basket.  Anything I deem as trash goes in the trash can.  And the other treasures I find, yes, even books, go in a box.  That box is currently in my room.  If you are missing something, you may check said box and see if it's in there.  If it is, you must do a chore to reclaim it - something besides your normal chores.  It may be feeding a baby its bottle or watching a toddler for a few minutes.  And the other rule, you MAY NOT under any circumstances take more than one thing for one chore.  We have plenty to do around here, you may do another chore to redeem something else. 

We'll see how long this works.  But for now, the rooms are clean, and I didn't have to pick up much this morning.

Laundry Day!!! (Oh, yeah that's every day, except maybe Sunday)!

I just thought I'd share what the laundry aspect of our lives looks like.  We have been a four or five or six or seven load a day family for a long time.  Little ones and accidents in their beds made for some long days of laundry, but we're beyond that now. 

Then we moved into teaching the children to put away their clothes and Mom didn't inspect their work super often, so the clothes were on the floor with the wet/dirty clothes and I could get two loads a day per room. 

Just recently, I bought my three oldest (6th, 8th, and 9th grades) boys a laundry basket each.  I am amazed at how little laundry I have now.  They each wash their laundry when they need to, which is about once a week.   So that's three loads of laundry per week for them as opposed to what seemed like 2 per day.   It was a lot more anyway.

I make my laundry soap and I suppose that I should sit down and really crunch the numbers again to see how it works.  I've done liquid and I've done dry.  I like both.  Liquid just takes me longer, but I love the smell of my house when I'm doing it.  I will only give my recipe for powder soap because it has become my own.  I have searched the internet and read up on it, so it's similar to others you've seen on-line.   I'm a little bit of this and a little bit of that type of girl, so I change it up if I have different things on hand

Laundry detergent

1 bar Fels Naptha          $.97

1 large box (laundry aisle) baking soda        $ 2.66

1 box washing soda           $3.24

1 box Borax          $3.38

Oxyclean (I use the generic) but I'm not sure of the cost so figure  $2 as I don't use the whole thing.

Total  $12.25

Grate the bar of Fels Naptha.  And pour a bit from each box into a large bucket.  As you pour mix them together.  I use the largest size grate on a cheese grater.

That sounds like a lot to me, except when I realize that I only use 2 Tablespoons of the stuff in a huge load.  If it's a bit more dirty or greasy, then I may add another scoop.  (I use the scoop that comes in the Oxyclean container).    It takes me more than a month (maybe even two) to use this much detergent.  Before I started this, I was using Arm&Hammer ($13.??) and it was gone in less than a month. 

In the morning, everyone who is in the main laundry group has to get their laundry to the main level and a laundry basket that sits by the dryer.  It's on their chore cards so eventually it happens. :)  Then after the babies have arrived (unless my darling husband takes it down when he showers in the morning) I take  the laundry down to the basement and sort it into my tall laundry baskets (from Walmart) that have the stickers for Dark, Colors, or white. 

I usually start with White as I need my dishtowels and such.  I put a load in with a scoop of detergent.  Usually it's cold water.  Only if it's hubby's dirty work jeans do I ever use hot and then only occasionally.  Yes, the Fels Naptha does dissolve and there is no residue left when the clothes are done.  I don't ever leave the regular Tide-sized scoop in my detergent or there is NO way it would last a month.  Even I need some help making sure I don't fill it too much when I use those monsters. :)

Then I add about 1/5 of a cap of fabric softener and fill it the rest of the way with water.  I think they overkill on the amounts they tell you to use.  I should know because I have been line drying my clothes since my dryer quit last month and they're pretty soft, even with only 1/5 of wha they tell you to use. 

When the washer quits I lug it upstairs (three flights) to the attic to hang it up.  I know it sounds like a pain, but I love not having clothes sitting around waiting for their owners to show up so that I can tell them to take care of their laundry.  I like doing all the folding for the day once and then at lunch having the kids take care of their clothes before eating. 

Because my clothes are hanging in the attic, I don't have to get them in until the next day.  They get dry, but not bleached and they don't fall off the line.  I'm not in any hurry for dh to get the dryer fixed.  :)

Laundry piles are usually low in my house now, because I'm home most days and I keep it going until there is no laundry left.  And yes, usually every day there is enough laundry to do at least one load of whites, one load of coloreds and one load of darks. 

Laundry is not super fun to do or easy to keep up with  but when I do keep up with it it's not a drudgery, but more of a joy.  And believe me, I don't enjoy laundry, for years dh would ask me just to keep it going and to fold them as they came out of the dryer.  Now that I am, I realize how wise he is.   I wish I would have started a long time ago.

Grandpa

Grandpa's chair with his two dollies and one gentleman
me, my sister and my cousin

Grandpa's chair (This is the one I will remember always as his) was a favorite for five little grandchildren.  We loved to climb on him while he sat on it or sit on the footstool and lean back against his knees.  What a treasure to have a grandfather who loved to hug his grandchildren! 

My cousin, me, Grandpa, and my little sis

Driving to the dump with Grandpa, we must have pestered him with lots of questions about when are we going to get there? and where is it?  So he would tease us by pointing out the passenger window with his finger pushing our nose that direction.   He loved to tease us.

Tickling was another thing he loved to do.  "How do you feel this morning?" he'd say almost every morning.  Didn't matter our answer we knew what was coming.  Grandpa would tickle us all the while, asking "Do you feel good here? or here?"

Me, in the front with my two cousins in the back.

When my older cousin (by 3 weeks) and I were 3 and 1/2, Grandpa's youngest grandchild and my brother was born.  The five of us were fairly close in age.  What fun we had at Grandpa and Grandma's!  For a long time while I was little they had a pool.  We always were in that pool during the summer.  I remember popsicles that were brought out just to coax us to take a break.  Countrytime lemonade takes me back to Grandpa's house.   Seems like that was a staple there.  And the cookie jar was always full with a cookie or two and icecream before bed.  Another memory was Noxema - Grandma used it on our sunburns when we'd been in the pool too long. 

Grandpa used to tease us and tell us with a gruff face "Your dad's a gentleman!"  We would argue till we were blue in the face that he most definitely wasn't.  He loved this story.  Another story he liked was the two nickels and one dime story.  I think it started when my mom and her sister were little, but if memory serves he did it to my sister and I.  Mom was given two "big, fat, shiny" nickels and my aunt (the older one) was given one "teeny weeny little" dime.  Oh, my aunt would get hopping mad because it wasn't fair.  He chuckled over that one quite a bit. 

The man I loved was a quiet man, but when it came to his family his heart was wide open.  He loved to make us laugh.  It must have been very hard for him to watch one of his daughters take his dollies and one gentleman half way around the world.  He loved all of us so.  He gave us all so much of himself.