Menu planning and budgeting

Yesterday, Grandma sent some money for treats.  So I told them we'd have to all work together to pick our favorites and spend the money from Grandma. :)  Jones piped up that it would be great to lasagna for Valentine's, after all candy isn't good for us.  Surprisingly everyone agreed.  So I decide to challenge the four older ones. 

The challenge was this: Make a meal for Valentine's Day for $20.  Obviously this transpired yesterday  and so the meal won't be on Valentine's Day, but our family has always been flexible about these things. There must be 5 things in this meal: Beverage, Main Dish, Salad, Bread and Dessert. 

I must add a funny note that some of you may have seen on Facebook.  Tank asked if he could find a special plate to use.  I said yes and continued making plans with the older four.  He was frantically rummaging through the cupboards until "Aha!" up he came with my grandmother's platter, "Here is my main dish!" he says.  It was very hard not to laugh while we explained to him that main dishes are something you eat, not what you serve it on. :)

Each child (now Tank was included because I couldn't bear to turn him away) was to take a cookbook and some writing paper to quiet time and individually and somewhat secretly make out their proposal for a meal. 

After quiet time, they brought their proposals to me and I estimated what I thought each would cost, as I looked up the recipes they had chosen and used my knowledge of current prices to write a total at the bottom of their menu.  OOOPS!  All of them were over, though one only by 25 cents. 

Since I had written by each dish/beverage the total for that particular item and even an amount next to each ingredient.  I gave each one back their menus and told them to work them over so that it would fit within the budget.  We had fun doing this, as each decided what they did or didn't need under such conditions.  And no, x-ing off a whole category was quickly nixed.

After they brought them back for approval, I typed up a ballot.  All were to vote even those too little to make up their own menu.  So we had five menus and nine voters.  But instead of just having them vote on the menus, I decided to have two pages - one with menus and one with each category.  So they would have to choose the overall menu they liked best and the beverage, the main dish, the salad, the bread and the dessert they liked best.  So much more fun than watching TV and Dad even had fun as they bombarded him with his ballot the minute he walked in the door.  He had to ask what some things even were.

It was fun and we had to vote on some ties.   There were some tears over not being chosen  the most, but we worked through that.  After all everyone can't be picked, but it turned out that each of the four older ones were a favorite in something, but poor Tank didn't have any top things. 

Consolation prize is making monkey bread with Mom today. :)

Then I added up the favorite categories, turns out it's a cheaper meal than the menu chosen.  So I think we might do that.  Then I'll have different helpers make the categories they won in.   Sharpie will be making Pepsi Burgers; Jones - garlic bread and ice cream cake; Waterman - Sparkling Kool-aid and Bugaboo - Macaroni Salad.  And surprisingly it's a great combination.  Lasagne never even entered the picture in anyone's menu, though that was the meal that started it all.

I'm also going to bring out these menus and their prices today and talk with the children about why these aren't some of our normal choices.  Our budget says we spend $10 a day on meals.  So how do we make some of our favorites work?  Jones wanted a store-bought ice cream cake, but when he found out that he could probably make it for half, he decided to go with that.

Our next step is for me to take the four oldest shopping.  I haven't decided yet how I'll do it.  We may all work together to see if we can make it under the $20 or I may divide it out and give each one their portion and have them see if they can do it.  I'm leaning toward the second idea.

To build on this for a more long-term teaching idea, I think I'll sit down with the older ones and have them help me decide what they will cook when it's their turn on the schedule.  They will also have to submit proposals and try to keep it within budget.  Problem: They don't cook for a whole day, so it's hard to figure out $10/day, but I may just let them plan one day's worth of meals.  Not sure yet.

I really want my children to fully understand running a home.  Yes, even the boys.  Can you imagine if they understand the difficulty of planning meals on a budget?  They will be helpful to their wives and more understanding through the process.   I am definitely not perfect at it, but I love working at it. :)

So thank-you, Grandma, for the gift and to the Lord for giving us brains to work up some ideas to train our children in the way they should go. Oh and by the way, there's still some leftover for those conversation hearts, the only thing they could think of to get on Valentine's Day.  We may be finding some on the icecream cake. ;)

Steph

Train up a child

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."  Proverbs22:6

I have been struggling, as parents often do, to figure out how to handle certain situations that come up during the day.  Our pastor has taught us that he believes the above verse is talking about training up a child in their way, the way that is most meaningful to them. 

Now you may have found that your children are as different as night and day, and I'm here to tell you that even with seven, they are all different.  Some of them have areas that they are similar to a sibling, and yet they are not the same as that sibling.  Even twins, they say, are different.

I have been struggling with some of the children lately.  Let me tell you, it's driven me to pray more for certain someones that actually test my patience on a daily basis.  I will tell you their personalities and some of our goals for them so you can have an idea about what is going on.

Child A is quiet and shy and from the time he was little was nervous about getting into new situations.  He waited until something was familair before he would enter in.  Afraid of getting laughed at, he usually says very little.  And even when a buddy, (someone he considers his "best" friend) asks him to go do something, he says no.  He doesn't like to work outside with Dad much, but would rather be inside helping Mom.  He is a responsible helper.

Child B is out-going and friendly and consequently says things he shouldn't.  He likes to play and can be quite rough.  He also doesn't like to say he's sorry or apologize.  Admitting guilt is hard for him.  He loves to help but on his own terms. He loves working with Dad and would rather be out there than inside caring for his house chores.   He is a smart kid, but when he falls behind he gets discouraged and isn't motivated to stay on task.  After that, it's a snowball effect and he's way behind in everything.

Sounds a bit like Jacob and Esau to me.  Child A is sensitive and not as smart education wise, but he cares for people and it shows.  Child B could make a great leader someday, but needs to learn submission before that will really happen. 

How do we handle things with these? Our goals for Child A are we want him to become familiar with the work Dad does and we want him to have friends.  What situations can we put him into that will help him to become the man he needs to be?  Our goals for Child B are we want him to be the leader he can become and to use his "smarts" for God's glory.  Diligence is probably something lacking in his life.

So we have a situation that I've mentioned before in my blog.  Dad takes two days out of the week and works a tree-clearing job.  He does it on his own and has no employees.  Therefore, for safety's sake, we thought he should have one of the older boys with him.  Child A was given no option.  He's going.  Dad can only take one and Child A has one day where he is only watching one or two younger siblings at home while the others and I are out at a Bible study and piano.  Child B is behind in schoolwork, so was given this ultimatum, if you want to work with Dad, you have to be caught up in your schoolwork in order to go, otherwise on Saturday, a different sibling will go with him.

I think this is training them in the way they should go. It's not the same for both of them.  One is restricted and the other is told he's going.  I must qualify this and say that when they go they will be paid for their work.

I was super nervous about making Child A go.  He's been twice and always comes back with a positive demeanor.  Yes, he's tired and sore.  But that means that he is working for his wage and doing his job.  Child B says he can't wait to get out there and build some muscles.  Child B hopefully, will remember that going is dependent on him getting some work done at home.  Back to Child A, when he found out that Child B may go and help, he was a bit disappointed.  I questioned him on this and it came out that he was enjoying some alone time with Dad.  So Child B may not be able to go on the same day as Child A.  Dad doesn't need two new helpers at the same time anyway, just one.

I know that I'm not the only one who struggles with how to handle things that come up.  Teens are a new one for me as we are just getting to that phase.  But God knows and He's the best parent to ask and He's filled His word with lots of information for us to use.  May we be searching there more than any other place to find the words of truth about how to raise our precious little ones to His honor and glory.

Steph

Quiet time and the blessings of it

A friend posted on her blog about the benefits of quiet time in her house.  Now, maybe a lot of you are thinking of devotional time.  But in this case, I am not talking about that.  Well, I sort of am.  You'll see as we go along here what I mean.

I wake up in the morning around 5:30 and get breakfast and rush to help my husband get out the door.  We eat breakfast as a family at 6:00 so I'm busy trying to get breakfast ready and his lunch made before he leaves.  Obviously we get his lunch made the night before, but gathering it together and getting it in the cooler is part of my way of serving him.  If I don't get to it before he does, he's fine with that.  I just find joy in getting it done before he gets to the kitchen.

As soon as Dad walks out the door, I start printing off the day's schedules for each one from my on-line school planner that I've mentioned before.  The kids are doing dishes, getting showers, cleaning rooms and we're all hustling to be done before the first child arrives at around 7:20.

Then school has started and it's piano and "Are you where you are supposed to be on the schedule?" "Oh, it's my turn to watch kids." And on and on.  Snack comes at 10:00, but with 9 little ones, snack time is over and still I haven't had my snack, unless I'm on top of things and get snack ready before I call the little ones.

So by noon, I'm lagging, just a little tired, but I know that just around the corner is QT (or quiet time).  Everyone goes to a corner and reads usually.  One of the older boys (today it's Jones) takes the baby and plays quietly with him in my room till baby falls asleep and then Jones will put him in the crib at the end of my bed.  Sharpie is writing a book and working on that today.  Waterman is probably reading.  Bugaboo is reading Mr. Popper's Penguins.  Tank is working on some schoolwork he let slide this a.m, usually that's not allowed but today I'm letting him.  Jules is hopefully looking at books in her bed and Tractorman is probably sound asleep as last I checked his thumb was in his mouth, eyes droopy and blanket tucked firmly in hand.  This despite the fact that after lunch he told me "I'm big now." meaning "I don't need a nap." 

Gently I reminded him that it's not called 'naptime' anymore, but quiet time and the only reason he's in his bed is because that is his quiet place and his big brothers are more than likely on their bed, though only two can be in that room.  We don't have enough rooms in this house for each to have their own.  If we did, each would be in their own room. 

So around 12:45 I rush them through lunch dishes and send them to their places.  Sometimes I have to go upstairs and remind them that it's quiet time, therefore loud noises coming from upstairs are not allowed during this time.  Sometimes I hear some fairly loud thuds. :)

And then, then... what fun!  I sit down at the kitchen table and open my Bible and my study book I'm working on and dig in.  I find it such a joy.  Usually by lunch time I'm a little snappy, just trying to make it.  Today it was 12:08 and I'm griping at the kids to hurry up with the dishes.  But then I looked at the clock and said, "O.k you DO have till 12:45, so you need to be done by then."  I don't want to wait, but it's so much more peaceful to have quiet reign in this house, even for only one hour and 15 minutes.  Because yes, they do read or sleep till 2:00.

And then, it's back to chaos, but my mind is re-focused to where it needs to be and I'm ready for the second part of my day.  Yes, I'm not spending my devotional time early in the morning, but I did forget to say that one of the reasons Daddy wants us to eat together is because we spend time reading God's word together right before he leaves.  So I get some morsels at breakfast and some after lunch. 

The days I don't make time for quiet time are usually chaotic and I don't handle them well.  I don't view these as God punishing me, but my mind has not been drawn back to the truths that God is bigger than all that I am going through.  When I let my mind be filled with thoughts of Him, nothing can be too hard for me. 

Thank you, Lord, for Your Word and it's refreshment to my heart.  A friend asked on Facebook "The psalmist refers to God as "my joy and my delight". (Ps 34:4) What does that mean to you? What does it look like?"  That is what it looks like in a small way.

Steph

Consistency

Someone asked me this weekend how I have time to blog.  Guess I don't have a lot of time to do this, but this my way of getting my thoughts on "paper" as it were.  I find when I log how things are going, I'm more inclined to see a way through to progress.  I do this during our quiet time or sometime during the day when things are somewhat settled. 

Today, I'm picking up after a week of somewhat discouraged work.  That kind of work is not too productive as you all know.  For one thing, I was exhausted last week from some late nights, part of those were my choice and others were not.  Other things happened during the week to leave me feeling somewhat defeated. 

Over the weekend, I asked God to renew my mind, my strength and my desire to serve Him.  He did in a place I least expected it.  You see, God knows all of the things I love doing and one of those things is organizing.  Don't ask me to maintain it after it's organized, I'm not so good at that.  It's one of those things I'm working on. :) 

I was working in my kitchen making breakfast and I found myself bumping into my husband who was either making the coffee or getting it, not sure which.  I couldn't get to the flour etc without him moving and I didn't really want to push him out of the way so I could get on with my agenda, after all we're working on serving one another.

This was where the coffee pot was.

All of the sudden it hit me that the coffee and the mugs should be together and that the edge of the kitchen by the fridge would be the best spot.  But that meant the spices would have to move.  So I ended up re-organizing my kitchen.  It gave me a fresh start to my Saturday and I was excited to keep on organizing until things were in their place. 

A much better place

That start helped me to continue on to a fresh start on Monday.  Last Thursday I made a new chart with definite schedules of things to do throughout the day for the little ones and how the older ones should fill their schoolday and when piano should fit in there so that it's not waking the baby etc.

Today we started it.  It's taking all of my time to keep people on track and to work with them in the areas they are struggling in, but that's my job.  Sometimes it's draining, but quiet time is a well-known time to them all, so while it took a bit longer to get everyone where they were supposed to be and settled, now I have a few minutes of my own, almost an hour actually.  It's a time to refresh myself and prepare for the last half of the day.  By the time QT is over, we have only three hours till parents come and pick up their kids.

Consistency is the key, but as I said before maintenance isn't something I'm super good at, not good at all really.  Even though I know I'm not good at it, it doesn't mean I'm throwing up my hands in despair and it doesn't mean I'm saying, "Oh well, I know I'm not good at that, so I'm not going to try." No, it's my thing to work on and it encourages me to see progress. 

One lady came to visit our house and said, "I can see that you are getting settled into being home full-time, the house is so much more organized."  Although I feel a stab of embarassment at the fact that it used to be unorganized and messy because I was working a lot outside the home, I am thankful that she saw the work God is doing in my heart, and her words made me realize that I have come along some. 

"He's still workin' on me, to make me what I ought to be.  It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars, the sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.  How loving and patient He must be!  He's still workin' on me." 

I don't know if you know this song, but I love it.  I'm so thankful that He never gives up even though He's gonna be workin' on me for a lifetime.

Philippians 1:6 "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."

Training up children

A friend came over the other day and we had a good talk. It was so nice to see her and because of the beautiful weather, her kids and mine were outside running around for the afternoon.

The most encouraging thing about it is we were able to challenge one another through the course of the conversation and encourage one another. What a joy when conversation steers toward truths of the Scripture! When this happens conversation becomes more, it becomes fellowship.

We were talking, of course, of the challenge of raising children. And the frustration that comes upon us when they aren't walking in the truth. And then, lo and behold, we aren't walking in the truth, because we're just so irritated that they are arguing or complaining or whatever.

As we were talking, we began discussing the facts that working on these issues outside the moment is so much better than working on them when they are happening. Obviously, we must train in the latter moments, but if we can help them ahead of time learn the truths, so much better.

We were talking of looking at a list of weaknesses in our children's lives and then picking one point to work on. It's easier to work on a whole group rather than individualize it when you have seven, so we're are choosing selfishness.

Oh and actually, my friend told me that what you work on is the opposite of the negative, so we're really working on generousity. Now, not all of my children have this as their number one problem, but all of them can use some work in this area.

Now, it's my job to talk with them about how it looks to be generous (specifically with our siblings). So I will talk about it with them at meal tables, if I don't forget and when they go to bed and when they are doing schoolwork. Hmmm, sounds a bit like something I've read in Deuteronomy.

Thanks to my friend for such a wonderful time of conversation. One that not only lasted for the time of catching up, but is still causing me to ponder the truths of the Word, days later.

Proverbs 27:17 "Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

I pray each of you has friends that sharpen you as well, and may our hearts be willing to be sharpened. It doesn't always feel good.

In Christ,
Steph